Category: Humor Publisher: Publish America
ISBN-10: 1606721852
Pages: 48
Copyright: August 28, 2008
ISBN-13: 9781606721858
...true tales of humorous, hard to believe internet dating stories.
Between his divorce and marrying again in October of 2007, Michael dated, meeting seventy-one women. Some dates were fun…with most becoming second dates. Some dates produced short-term relationships while others went five or six deep.Though enjoying meeting them all, some dates were, well, complete disasters. It’s those disastrous, difficult-to-believe true stories that are detailed here in this hilarious look at internet dating. If you’ve ever done online dating, then you certainly can relate to these tales, and might just find yourself saying, “I’ve been on a date JUST like that!”
Excerpt
We meet an Outback Steak House on a Friday night…packed, wall to
wall. We put in our names and take first available seating (though I am not
a smoker and would rather not sit in a smoking section while eating
dinner)…it was that or a two hour wait.
We’re seated in about 10 minutes
at a two-person booth in the bar area. We sit and place a drink order…she
gets a Fosters’ beer and I, a Diet Coke.
As soon as we do that, she excuses herself to the ladies room…then the
drinks come. Five…seven…nine minutes pass and she is still in the restroom.
Then, our server comes walking down the aisle—I don’t make eye contact
with her because my date is not back at the table and, simply, we’re not ready
to order. The server is looking from table to table as she gets closer to
me…then says “…Michael?” I look up and reply in the affirmative, at which
time she reaches in her pocket and pulls out a twenty dollar bill and puts it
on the table then says “…this is from your date…she said to tell you ‘this isn’t
going to work out’ and she left. Sorry, man.”
Wow…I sat for what was probably less than five minutes, drank my soda
and, seeing all the couples at the front waiting area, decided it was best to
relinquish the table to others. I put the twenty under the beer and left. While I initially felt very embarrassed and upset, it passed quickly—I had another *wink* waiting for me in my email at home from Match.
Homer's Ill Iliad & Odd Sea Odyssey (420 pages) is an adult satire/parody rewrite of the classic stories of the 10 year Trojan War and of the 10 year adventure of Odysseus trying to return home to his native Ithaca.
