Full Circle - Lessons For Non Borderlines - Understanding BPD Relationships is an ebook that will give you a lot to think about if you are the family member, loved one, ex or relationship partner of someone who has BPD.
I share the lessons that I learned as someone who had recovered from BPD and then six years later had a relationship with someone who has BPD and NPD.
A.J. Mahari was in the non-borderline role as a child with 2 parents with Borderline Personality Disorder. She shares the lessons that experience taught her. She then grew and developed and was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Years later, at the age of 38 she recovered from Borderline Personality Disorder. Then six years after her recovery from BPD she found herself in a complicated and most unusual significant other relationship with an untreated borderline. Mahari has experienced it all and come out of it all on the other side, healthier, stronger, more insightful and much wiser for the lessons. This ebook is a must read for anyone in a relationship with someone with BPD.
The ebook, "Full Circle" features 85+ lessons for Non Borderlines to think about, gain some insight to apply to whatever part of their journey, on the other side of BPD, they are presently experiencing. It contains 6 chapters and 128 pages.
Excerpt
This ebook is a follow-up to my first ebook specifically for non-borderlines,
“The Other Side of Borderline Personality Disorder”.
In this ebook my goal is to provide more in depth information for non borderlines based upon my experience as someone who had BPD, and as someone who was, like you, thrust into the role and pain of being a non borderline when I was in a walls of the false self of Borderline Personality Disorder. It would take me 14 years to even begin to really get how much pain I was actually in.
40 Borderline Lessons My Parents Taught Me as a Non Borderline
1 - Needing is not okay. Needing is not safe. Don’t bother needing anything - we don’t really care.
2 - Who are you again? It’s all about me - not you.
3- When I need you to hold my feelings you’d better be a good little scapegoat but otherwise do not make the mistake of thinking that I care or that you belong or that I really see you - I don’t. You are me.
4 - Sorry about your luck but worry about me. Sorry about your luck but focus on me - after all you never know what I’ll do next.
------------
15 Lessons I Was Teaching The Nons unknowingly in My Borderline Life from the age of 17 to 30:
1 - That I was more important than they were - when I really felt so unimportant and so insignificant that I would intimidate others to try to find some safety for myself
2- That others may have to wait but that I was entitled to what I wanted when I wanted much like a 2 or 3 year old child expects to be the centre of your universe
3- That everyone else was me - I had no sense of self and so whatever I felt, I would perceive as coming from others - when I wasn’t happy with myself, which was always, I wasn’t happy with others
4- That whatever the problems were they weren’t mine - anything and everything that went wrong in my life or with someone else was either my mother’s fault, my father’s fault, or the other
person’s fault - nothing was my fault - after all these problems weren’t my problems - I just happened to have a lot of problems because of everyone else
-----------
CHAPTER FOUR
BEHIND THE MASK OF
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY
DISORDER
There is a place where pain is mistaken for love and where chaos is a way of life. The agony of it really almost tragically comes to seem like a “normal” way of life.
Those who have BPD do not know who they are - they are lost to themselves and trapped in that abyss.
Non borderlines slowly over time feel less and less like who they thought they were. Non borderlines lose themselves to the borderlines who try to live through them.
This book operationalizes the profound teachings of the Enneagram so that coaches and other growth-oriented professionals can use specific processes,tools and strategies to empower and support the transformation of their clients.
This book operationalizes the profound teachings of the Enneagram so that coaches and other growth-oriented professionals can use specific processes,tools and strategies to empower and support the transformation of their clients.
