Category: Memoir Publisher: Divine Truth Press
ISBN-10: 0977810305
Type: Non-Fiction
Pages: 124
Copyright: September 15, 2006
ISBN-13: 9780977810307
MEET DIVINE: female, thirty-seven, slaphappy, young at heart, self-employed; an online newbie, living in New York. She is fresh out of a long-term relationship and has completed the two-year mandatory wound-licking I-hate-men mourning period. Unfortunately for Divine, someone neglected to inform her that dating has been upgraded to new millennium level. But maybe she shouldn’t worry … hemlines aren’t the only things that have gone up.
Thirty-somethings are premium dating material now … at least for the twenty-year-olds … Divine’s experiences are the basis for the story I call Age Is Just a Number, a lens through which to view the world of online dating.
"Age is just a number." Is it really that simple? Divine's journey of self-discovery is an often unbelievable, and at times achingly sad recounting of her shellshock upon reentering the world of dating after a fourteen year absence. On the journey she discovers online dating Web sites, IM, and chat rooms. In her journal, she reveals her bewilderment as she tries to navigate the new "dating rules" that allow twenty year olds to feel emboldened enough to approach thirty-seven year olds with the line "age is just a number." Over time, her dilemma becomes one of needs versus values, as Divine discovers how far she will push the line before it snaps … or she breaks. Journey with Divine as she encounters the good, the bad, the ugly, the calorically challenged, the mentally challenged, the financially deficient, the spiritually inconsistent, the freaky, the delusional, the lonely and more…
Excerpt
FOREWORD:
THIS BOOK (or “blook” as it has recently been coined) is based heavily on my blog Age Is Just a Number, which was created to recount an extraordinary two-year span of my life. Due to my hectic work schedule and doubts about the feasibility of readership, project AIJAN ground to a halt after a mere two episodes.
First I tried listing it in the Memoirs section of the now defunct serial Web site, keepitcoming.net. My story sat and sat and sat, with nary a purchaser. I could tell folks were clicking on the page, but there was no purchase in sight—not even during the buy-one-story-full-price, get-another-for-a-penny sale!
My brash confidence took a beating! My story had drama, betrayal, flashers and more … add to that a snazzy cover image. What more did they want?
I rallied. I tried pumping the story on my own Web sites and was again disappointed, if not befuddled. This was great stuff! Had the whole world gone mad? Then one day, in an email from one of my writing groups, the word “blog” turned up. “I’ve just updated my blog!”
What, pray tell, is a blog?I asked myself. I then clicked my way to the neatest discovery since sliced bread—blogging! Once I dusted off my flailing confidence and began blogging, I realized that I’d found my niche! Something about a blog and the word “publish” seems to get my creative juices flowing in a way that Microsoft Word can't seem to match.
A few weeks went by and I received a sporadic comment or two—nothing like the droves I’d envisioned. But just about the time my confidence again began to dwindle, I made another phenomenal discovery via another blogger’s post—BlogExplosion! A traffic exchange Web site, where for every two blogs you surf, you receive one visit, BlogExplosion meant a new beginning for me. It didn’t take me long to realize that extended surfing equaled visits, and visits equaled feedback—otherwise known as comments!
Due to copyright issues, this blook is not an exact replica of the AIJAN blog. Certain posts found online are not in the blook and vice versa.
I did try to maintain the conversational tone and overall feel of the blogging experience. I’ve also held onto comments that enhanced the original posts immediately followed by the link of the commenter.
In addition, I’ve retained the original dates so that you can have an idea of the time frame of the book. You have the option of reading straight through to get that “as-it-occurred” feeling, or you may utilize the table of contents to read by category. A glossary has also been provided for terms that might be unfamiliar.
INTRODUCTION:
MEET DIVINE: female, thirty-seven, slaphappy, young at heart, self-employed; an online newbie, living in New York. She is fresh out of a long-term relationship and has completed the two-year mandatory wound-licking I-hate-men mourning period. Unfortunately for Divine, someone neglected to inform her that dating has been upgraded to new millennium level. But maybe she shouldn’t worry … hemlines aren’t the only things that have gone up.
Thirty-somethings are premium dating material now … at least for the twenty-year-olds … Divine’s experiences are the basis for the story I call Age Is Just a Number, a lens through which to view the world of online dating.
Since the year 2003, I’ve logged much time online—chatting, emailing and IMing. In that time, I’ve probably spoken with over three hundred people, male and female, and I’ve realized something:
I’ve realized that there are many Divines in the world. They come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities and financial brackets, drawn together by a commonality, a deep-seated loneliness or hunger for something—and by the generally accepted idea that the solution is in finding a mate.
This recounting, although entertaining, is intended to acknowledge that such a need exists, affirm the validity of that need, share the pain, caution the naïve, and pose the question that maybe … just maybe … the accepted solution ought to be an ongoing relationship with God.
Welcome to my world!
Peace,
Dee
PART I:
The Secret Life of Divine
Monday, August 16, 2004, 7:20 a.m.
I SCRIBBLE furiously from the first-row corner seat aboard Lantabus Metro. I’m anxious to capture the thoughts and words as they come, honestly, naturally. As I write, I wonder how I ever made it to this point.
A little over three years ago, I quit a well-paying, soul-destroying job in title insurance. Around the same time, I discovered my fiancé’s impending fatherhood, which he credited to my decision to reclaim my chastity until our wedding in six months. (I guess he took my urge not to merge harder than I thought.) On the spiritual side, since I’d been too busy coping with life to pick up the internal phone, God sent a messenger to tell me that my services were required as preacher, teacher, and mentor extraordinaire.
Aside from a daily struggle with depression and a weight gain of thirty pounds, I thought I was pretty much taking it all in stride. Then, due to unforeseen circumstances, my landlord gave me forty-five days’ notice to vacate my apartment. Again, sudden changes ordinarily wouldn’t faze me. I’ve been a long time subscriber to the “life happens” train of thought. But for the self-employed, apartment hunting is not a cakewalk. Add defunct child support payments, an elderly parent with special needs, a growing teenager, and my location to the equation, and I’m sure you can understand my dilemma.
I “remained calm” even though my life was the equivalent of a five-alarm fire. I was on a forty day fast at the time, so I knew God had my back. I was even bold enough to tell God, “This one’s on You.” Nevertheless, I was ripe for a distraction, a diversion, a denial facilitator: some kind of heavy-duty mode of escapism.
I hit the jackpot last night! I’d just returned from choir rehearsal and was unwinding with a copy of Ebony Magazine when I came across an article about two couples. One couple is newlywed; the other is newly engaged. I know, I know…what’s so remarkable about that? Let me finish. Both couples met each other online through dating Web sites! Go figure. I didn’t even know dating Web sites existed! I love technology!
According to the article, the couples “met” online and, despite the sad rap that the Internet has for unsuccessful connections, they managed to beat the odds. Residing in different states seemed not to pose a problem for them. As I processed the article’s information, my heart began to race and I experienced a certain sense of exhilaration. In my mind’s eye I fast-forwarded straight to the culmination of a successful connection for myself.
Me, Divine, walking down (or is it up?) the aisle, wearing a beautiful buttercup-yellow, empire style gown, with a rip away skirt for dancing and showing off my jump-back-Tina-Turner legs. Of course, in this vision I am a size 10 again, and not the mismatched size 16/12 (top/bottom) that I am presently. My auburn tinted locks are braided in an intricate Nefertiti upsweep that just oozes royalty. My nails are unfortunately acrylic (an inveterate nail biter, I can only distort reality so far), and the groom—oh, the groom… he is Morris Chestnut and Shemar Moore of “The Brothers” and Boris Kodjoe of “Soul Food” all rolled into one. It is so real I can feel the goose bumps, sweaty palms, and knocking knees—finished by a sense of relief as the Divine in my vision silently whispers, “Thank you Je-sus!”
I hasted to get to the computer in my home office, adjacent to my bedroom. The fate of the magazine went unnoticed as it hit the floor. I logged onto one of the Web sites referenced in the Ebony article, Blackplanet.com. I ran a search and sat mesmerized as I viewed with awe the works of God’s hands in all their multicolored glory. They came in all shapes, heights, sizes, and sexual preferences. Occupations ranged from blue collar to executive level. Profile after profile, each one more tantalizing than the next.
I pulled an all-nighter, yes I did. I wouldn’t bet money on it, but I might be willing to swear that I heard strains of “So Many Men, So Little Time…How Can I Choo-oose” playing faintly in the background as I set about launching a full-fledged assault on the men of Blackplanet.
Professional Reviews
Refreshing!
Refreshingly honest, refreshingly funny, and refreshingly human. It's as if I’ve just discovered a long-lost friend. -- ~Kathi Macias author of seventeen books, including the bestselling women’s devotional A Moment A Day, the popular Matthews & Matthews detective series from Broadman & Holman (Obsession, The Price, and The Ransom), and her latest novel, Emma Jean Reborn, March 2, 2006.
(Richard M. Feldman) Ever since I was a young boy, the only thing I wanted to be was a cowboy. I wanted to own and work on a real ranch, with cattle and horses. Especially horses.
While I never became a cowboy, considering everything I have done
We Will Stone Him is a raw, unfiltered trauma memoir about surviving childhood abuse, emotional manipulation, and the lifelong wounds that follow. This true story marks the beginning of the Rising From The Ashes Trilogy, John Gambacorta and his survi
