Excerpt
Before the separation and/or divorce took place you did not stop to
look so closely at these pieces. You did not stop to analyze if there was a
crack, flaw, or splinter. You just went about participating in a normal
routine. This routine may not have been perfect, but it was life, your life.
There may have been times that certain events or words were spoken
which bumped into an area of your heart that was sore or tender. It
happened so quickly that you did not even take notice. Other areas of
your heart when touched seemed hard and cold. You would just direct or
deflect the feelings. Who had time in your busy routine to stop and
analyze every little sore spot?
Now, life has changed. Routine has stopped. Everything is being
noticed. So take the time and use it wisely. As you pick up your pieces,
see if there are cracks that can be filled in, splinters to be removed, and
flaws to be professionally buffed out by a master. Given the right tools,
you may be able to apply the fillers. Small cracks can disappear.
Splinters may have caused festering. The area may need to be cleaned out,
the splinter removed and antibiotic ointment applied. If the splinter has
gone too deeply, a doctor will be required for treatment. A few trips to the
doctor’s office and all will be new. In the case of flaws, the doctor may
refer you to a master professional that performs unique and lasting repair.
Using this analogy, stop and analyze your pieces as you begin picking up
each of them.
The hurting that is within you didn’t happen quickly and wasn’t
just a one time incident. It happened repeatedly over time by many
people, not just by your spouse telling you that he/she was leaving or
physically moving out and away from your marriage and the home. I am
asking you to begin your healing by taking a look back over your lifetime.
Hundreds of excerpts from the archives of the Narcissistic Abuse Study List regarding Pathological Narcissism, relationships with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
