It is part of the human condition to be struggling with tough issues, many of which are unfair. Perhaps people will be inspired to try and find the gift in whatever struggle they are facing, and in turn catapult their spiritual growth.
Excerpt
“While cancer is a cruel and clever disease that wreaks havoc in your life, my husband and I were able to find and experience so many gifts, treasures and healings in our lives. Since his diagnosis, we have truly been transformed, as individuals and as loving, lifelong partners. Our spiritual lives blossomed and grew in ways I would not have thought possible. And so much of that happened because of the loving, compassionate, strong hands, arms, and feet of the people of God. No one would deny that we are truly the luckiest people on earth, even
with the loss we suffer. Few others could boast the kind of dedication and support we have felt poured out upon us. May God bless you one hundred fold for all the blessings you have given us. Darcy Thiel”
Professional Reviews
Bitter and Sweet: A Family's Journey with Cancer
A cancer diagnosis changes the lives of the patient and their family forever. In this outstanding book, the Thiel-Colvin clan did a wonderful job of describing the practical issues of dealing with a diagnosis of advanced, incurable cancer, as well as demonstrating the transformation of love, life, and family that can occur during this difficult time. They have provided a wealth of information on navigating the frightening and often confusing information about cancer.
William G. Cance, M.D., Surgeon-in-Chief, Roswell Park Cancer Institute
Bitter and Sweet: A Family's Journey with Cancer
"Bitter and Sweet" describes the struggle of terminal illness - a journey with meandering paths of hope, suffering, shared love and grace; a paradox of selfless giving in the midst of profound loss. The story is wonderfully honest and powerfully human - its message serves as a reminder of the redemptive and life affirming essence of love, even in the context of dying.
Christopher Kerr, M.D., Ph.D.
Chief Medical Officer
The Center for Hospice and Palliative Care
Bitter and Sweet: A Family's Journey with Cancer
Cancer turns a patient’s world upside down. In one moment, time goes from being counted forward from birth, to being counted backwards from death. A young 48 year old patient awaiting the weddings of his children and birth of grandchildren is suddenly 160 days from death.
This is the frightful experience faced by 1.7 million Americans diagnosed with cancer yearly. Life immediately assumes a great urgency and uncertainty. That is why we grasp on to the inspirational stories of other cancer victims. We cherish the story of Chuck Pagano, the Indianapolis Colts football coach and we cried as we read the inspirational “the Last Lecture” about the courage with which Professor Randy Pausch fought and ultimately lost his fight against pancreatic cancer.
“Bitter and Sweet: A Family’s Journey with Cancer” is another inspirational chronicle of a brave fight against cancer. It is also the love story of Tim Colvin and his wife Darcy Thiel in the midst of crisis. Tim was a 48 year old husband and father who was struck down by one of the most deadly of human cancers, gallbladder cancer. Most patients with this cancer present at a stage beyond cure, and most will die four to six months from the time of diagnosis. I am a cancer surgeon who has treated hundreds of patients with this devastating disease and seen so many suffer the fate of the Thiel-Colvin family. This book reminds us of the importance of family and community in such a time of crisis. This book reminds us of the suffering also felt by spouses, children, brothers, and sisters. Cancer is a family matter. Cancer is a family crisis.
The “Bitter and Sweet” Journey is told through three intersecting narratives. During the 160 days between Tim’s cancer diagnosis and his untimely death, Tim and Darcy communicated with their supportive friends and family through a blog on the CaringBridge website. These postings, along with the responses from their friends and family, are interspersed with a reflective narrative written by Darcy a year later. It is as if the present Darcy is in dialog with Tim and their friends in a time passed. Tim’s words are like the outlines of his hand left in the cement poured for their pool into which Darcy is now filling with her words. The result is a display of a shared life of love and deeds that transcends time.
Tim and Darcy’s story reminds us that life is not just measured in minutes, but also measured in tasks, deeds, and memories. Our lives are both the landmark anniversaries, as well as the routines of everyday life. Life is the family camping trip, the biscuits and gravy on father’s day, and even chores like fixing the pool or mending the fence. Our sense of mortality comes when we realize we may not finish all that we set out to do. “Bitter and Sweet” documents the generosity of many friends and family who volunteered time to help Tim and Darcy in these difficult times. They provided the minutes to complete tasks in the life of man with finite time.
This book speaks to those of us caring for those afflicted with cancers. If a patient’s remaining life is measured in weeks and days, it is imperative that we minimize the inefficiencies that rob the patient and his family of this precious time. The days left should not be spent in the waiting rooms of scanning facilities and treatment areas. The patient should not be spending time speaking to clerks and insurance approval agents but to their loved ones. More time should be spent hugging our children, reading with our spouses, climbing rope courses than with physicians.
This book also speaks to the importance of palliative measures. Many of us will suffer a disease that the doctors cannot cure. It is important at that time to have available all those things that provide relief from suffering: whether it is steroids for appetite, analgesics to alleviate pain, acupuncture for nausea, or massage to allow relief of stress. The traditional medicines, the integrative and alternative techniques, and finally the hospice measures are all important to ease suffering for the patient and his family.
Most importantly, this work affirms that death is not the only certainty. The more comforting certainties are Love, Faith, and the knowledge that “There is much good in this world: much, much, much!!”
Thank you Darcy for sharing your tears, your thoughts, and your experiences so that others may find support and draw comfort during their fight against cancer. I wish for you a long, healthy life and happy memories of your time with Tim.
And Tim, I wish for you great comfort and peace.
Yuman Fong, MD
Professor of Surgery
Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center
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