Mohammed Kareem Jihad, a young Arab terrorist discovers ancient papyrus renditions of the Book of Genesis and the Book of Exodus in a limestone cave. Mohammed takes the scrolls to Jericho and shows them to Professor Philip Collins, an expert on Genesis and to Dr. Allen Qaeda, an authority on Exodus. The archeologists barter a carton of cigarettes, two hand grenades and a used AK-47 for the priceless documents. Phil Collins and Al Qaeda translate the newly discovered versions into the Wholly Book of Genesis and the Wholly Book of Exodus. They discover that over half of the original texts had been edited out by ancient Hebrew' priests and scholars whose intent was to make the first two books of the Old Testament more moral and virtuous. Professor Phil Collins e-mails electronic copies of the Wholly Book of Genesis and the Wholly Book of Exodus to his nephew, author Jay Dubya. Several weeks later an errant Palestinian rocket hits the Jerusalem' home where Collins and Qaeda were doing their meticulous research. Both archeologists are killed in the misguided missile' explosion, and the original papyrus scrolls and the computer files were also destroyed in the terrorist attack. The only remaining evidence of the Wholly Book of Genesis and The Wholly Book of Exodus are the e-mail attachments in Jay Dubya's computer. Jay Dubya now presents to the world the unabridged versions of the Wholly Book of Genesis and the Wholly Book of Exodus.These books are adult satirical literature featuring adult language and content. Genesis and Exodus are now at Mobipocket.com (type in Jay Dubya) in the Humor Category.
The Wholly Book of Genesis is also available in Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook e-book formats.
Contents
Chapter 1 “First Story of Creation” 1
Chapter 2 “Second Story of Creation” 5
Chapter 3 “The Fall of Man” 9
Chapter 4 “Cain and Abel” 13
Chapter 5 “Generations: Adam to Noah” 19
Chapter 6 “Origin of Nephilim” 23
Chapter 7 “The Great Flood” 27
Chapter 8 “The Ark’s Landing” 31
Chapter 9 “Covenant with Noah” 35
Chapter 10 “Table of Nations” 41
Chapter 11 “The Tower of Babel” 45
Chapter 12 “Abram’s Call and Migration” 49
Chapter 13 “Abram and Lot Part” 53
Chapter 14 “The Four Kings” 57
Chapter 15 “The Covenant with Abram” 61
Chapter 16 “The Birth of Ishmael” 65
Chapter 17 “The Covenant of Circumcision” 71
Chapter 18 “Abraham’s Visitors” 77
Chapter 19 “ Sodom & Gomorrah” 83
Chapter 20 “Abraham at Gerar” 89
Chapter 21 “Birth Of Isaac” 93
Chapter 22 “The Testing of Abraham” 99
Chapter 23 “Purchase of a Burial Place” 103
Chapter 24 “Isaac and Rebekah” 107
Chapter 25 “Abraham’s Sons by Keturah” 117
Chapter 26 “Isaac and Abimelech” 123
Chapter 27 “Jacob’s Deception” 129
Chapter 28 “Jacob’s Dream at Bethel” 137
Chapter 29 “Arrival in Haran” 141
Chapter 30 “Jacob Outwits Laban” 147
Chapter 31 “Flight from Laban” 153
Chapter 32 “Embassy to Esau” 163
Chapter 33 “Jacob and Esau Meet” 167
Chapter 34 “The Rape of Dinah” 171
Chapter 35 “Bethel Revisited” 177
Chapter 36 “Edomite Lists” 181
Chapter 37 “Joseph Sold into Egypt” 185
Chapter 38 “Judah and Tamar” 191
Chapter 39 “Joseph’s Temptation” 195
Chapter 40 “The Dreams Interpreted” 199
Chapter 41 “Pharaoh’s Dream” 203
Chapter 42 “The Brothers’ First Journey” 211
Chapter 43 “The Second Trip to Egypt” 217
Chapter 44 “The Final Test” 223
Chapter 45 “The Truth Revealed” 229
Chapter 46 “Migration to Egypt” 235
Chapter 47 “Settlement in Goshen” 239
Chapter 48 “Jacob and Joseph’s Family” 245
Chapter 49 “Jacob’s Testament” 251
Chapter 50 “Jacob’s Funeral” 257
