Once I slice, it relieves so much pressure I can breathe, again…
A novella about a boy named Mick and his struggles with life. His parent’s divorce and a friend’s suicide make his world unbearable. Each “cut” has a deeper meaning. A cry for help. “I spin my dad’s Ruger SP101 revolver on the wood floor of my bedroom. Sometimes, just to see what it feels like, I place the tip of the gun against my temple, but I never once pull the trigger. "NO!”
“I’m more into the slice of the blade against my skin and the blood running down my arm.”“It relieves so much pressure.”
“And I can breathe again…”
Excerpt
Mick
I think it’s best that I start by introducing myself. Will it be important? I guess I’ll leave that up to you in the end. I think introductions are the best so if I tell you who I am, then you’ll at least know something about me, but then by the end of my story you’ll know all about me. You’ll know why I do what I do. Why I’m going to do what needs to be done. Should have been done…
My name is Mick, Mick Connors. I live in the south suburbs of Chicago. I’m thirteen years old, and I have two half siblings, a brother and a sister. I don’t see them much, but in all reality, I don’t care. They live with my mom a couple of towns away. I’m supposed to go to my mom’s house every other weekend, but my dad lets me stay home. He doesn’t force me to see her. She’s the reason why they’re not together anymore. It’s one of the reasons why I live with my dad and not her! Well, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I have given you two clues… Yep, that’s right, the half siblings.
Their divorce caught me unexpectedly. I mean… they seemed so together. Like they knew what they were doing, but then—Wham! It was like I was sucker-punched in the gut when they broke the news to me.
Okay, so if I look back and think about some of their fights, yeah, I can see that they had their moments, but divorce? That’s like—final. There’s no, “I’m just kidding”, or “We can always just rip up the papers and act like it never happened.” No, divorce is divorce. It means it’s over and there’s no going back. We tried, but I can’t stand living with you anymore, so yeah, goodbye.
Seven months later, after my dad moved out, she was getting ready to give birth to my half brother and sister. I’m not sure what surprised me more—the divorce or the fact she cheated on my dad and got herself pregnant. I don’t even want to think about it anymore.
* * * * *
I hate everything about school. I hate getting up in the morning to go. I hate the classes they make me take. I hate all the teachers. I don’t think I’ve ever liked any of my teachers in all the time I’ve been in school. But mostly, I hate the kids that go to the school. Well, at least the ones that are mean to me. The ones that bully me!
So now you know my parents are divorced and I live with my dad. You know I have two half siblings and that I hate school.
One more thing, I used to live with my mom, but since the start of eighth grade, I’ve been living with my dad. They say it’s for the best, you know, because of what happened to my best friend. Oh, I guess I haven’t told you that part yet…
Professional Reviews
Amazon Reader
This is a quick read but it brings a strong message of bullying and suicide, a topic that needs to be addressed in school. I do believe this book needs to be in schools everywhere just for the message it brings about what bullying can do to a person. Losing someone to suicide is never easy and heartbreaking for the family and friends who are effected by it but even more for the person who went through something that nobody can understand even with all the help in the world, nobody can change their mind once it's made up.
A Reader
Help Me! by Donna M. Zadunajsky was a very interesting read. I liked it because it read like a personal journal from the the first point of view of the main characters. I'm a huge fan of journaling, so the writing style felt voyeuristic. It was avant-garde in a sense that the writing style is not what I am used to reading in a book.
It's like reading a book on social media. As the reader, you're taken into the private thoughts and experiences of two main characters. Mick is suicidal and depressed after losing his best friend to suicide. Layla is Mick's new best friend that he acquires after he moves to his father's home following the loss of his late best friend. We get to see the perspectives of teenage life, love and friendship through the thoughts of Mick and Layla. I like the interchanging approach to the chapters so that we can see the point of views from both characters and know what they're both thinking and feeling within each scene that plays out. We're not left with many questions as both main characters cover their own thoughts and emotions, themselves, without leaving it to a third narrator's POV. The style is unique. Therefore, it made it feel personal.
Overall, it was a fast paced, good read. I hope that there's more to come.
Hannah
I love this book i know so many people that are close to me and that are like mick and blame themselves everyday for what has happened to them or what happened to others. I used to be so depressed and negative because I thought I caused my parents divorce but I don't think like that anymore I'm pretty much happy. Tons of teens will understand this book and it really does hit home.... At least for some people
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