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 | | American IDLE! The Anti-Motivation Handbook
Make "Positive Thinking" a thing of the past! Funny Guy is "The Master of Poor Performance." Martha Stewart and Donald Trump haven't consulted with him -- but you should! So overcome feelings of optimism! Achieve the stagnation you deserve! And remember those two little words that will forever set you free: WHY BOTHER?
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|  | | Do Reality Checks Ever Bounce?
Is your inner child adopted? Do cold fronts have warm behinds? Should liver transplants come with onions? Obviously, these can't be answered by any person -- any sane person! Plus each outrageous page is hilariously illustrated. You won't be able to stop laughing!
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|  | | How To Be Funny When You Owe Money!
Scared to answer the phone? Don't worry! Because now when they ask for money, all you do is act funny. Just play the special sound effects when they call. You'll have a ball! Learn The CIA Paranoia Ploy; The Farting Fiasco; The Multiple Personality Maneuver; and many more! With Funny Guy's guidance you'll never hang up on another creditor. Cause you'll be giving them all the Hang-Ups!
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|  | | How To Get God To Return Your Calls
Feeling disconnected from God? Suspect your calls never even go through? Paranoid about being snubbed at the Heavenly Level? Well, worry no longer! Learn how to access God's private line. Cut through Cosmic Clutter and top His "Must Get Back To Immediately" list. Hundreds of proven techniques to get the answers you deserve!
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|  | | Is He For Real? Knowing Sooner What A Man Will Be Like Later!
Separate the cream from the creeps! Because here men's secret signals about love and romance are finally exposed! This powerful and amusing book is spiced with intimate details. Know what kind of lover he is -- before going to bed. Is he ready to commit -- or should he be committed? Does he want to build a relationship -- or tear you down? Should you wed him or shed him? Finally get the love you desire -- the love you deserve!
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|  | | Is He Mr. Right? How To Tell If You Should Love Him or LEAVE Him!
Expose His LOVE CODES!
The Book No Woman Should Miss
(And Only The Bravest Men Should Read!)
Using the same methods as FBI profilers, Funny Guy offers this powerful and amusing handbook -- spiced with intimate details -- candidly exposing men's secret signals about love and romance.
So now any woman can finally have the upper hand in deciding who's Mr. Right -- and definitely who's Mr. Wrong!
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|  | | Masturbation For Morons! A Do-It-Yourself-Handbook
The very first book for Mono-Sexuals! Find out why two people are one person too many. How to be your own best lover. The issue of Mono-Sexual marriage. Avoiding stains on your reputation. What to do when things get out of hand. Stiffening your resolve in the face of adversity. Yes, this is one handbook you won't be able to put down!
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|  | | Men Who Hate Themselves (And The Women Who Agree With Them!)
Here's the truth about Living, Loving, and Loathing! Why men suffer from PMS (Pre-Marital Syndrome). What "The Male Lie-Bido" has to say. Plus advice from Dr. Baby Ruth; Buy-Sexuality in Women; Aero-Phobics for Men; Impersonal Ads; and much more!
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|  | | The Joy of Depression
Depression is much more than a state-of-mind. It's a total way of living! And the perfect way to cope with all the stress of modern life. Learn the secrets of financial insecurity. Project negative charisma. Overcome the effects of a healthy childhood! Plus always remember: The best years of your life are still behind you!
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|  | | The Middle Age of Aquarius
What's the dirtiest "F" word? Fifty! At least that's what Baby Boomers think. In this hilarious, yet poignant series of essays and observations, David Samson moves between hysterical riffs and touching stories of true life experience: He covers The Social Insecurity System; Afterlife Insurance; Exercises in Futility; Gucci Sushi; The OY of Sex; The Grateful Undead; plus why sixty is the new forty and other delusions!
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|  | | The O'Really Factor - Liberal Doses of Conservative Humor
Bill O' Really is always right -- far right! But he loves to spread liberal doses of humor around. Read as he rants about: Al Gore, Al Qaeda, The ACLU, UCLA, The Homeless, The Vacation Homeless, Gay Marriage, Gay Divorce, Health Insurance, Wealth Insurance, Operators in India, Operators in Indiana, and much more! Tune into The O' Really Factor today. It's totally unfair and unbalanced!
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|  | | The Official Millennium Survival Handbook - Guaranteed Until 2999 A.D.
You're not out of the woods yet! Find out what you need to know all way up to the year 2999. Because the new Millennium will be an equal opportunity annihilator. Lawyers, arsonists, dentists will all find themselves in the same boat as you -- namely the Titanic! Written with Peter Bergman of the legendary Firesign Theater!
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|  | | Useless Knowledge
With hundreds of fascinating but totally worthless facts and quizzes, this is the best way to cure migraines caused by the Information Age. True, your trivial self will be totally worthless to society, but you'll certainly get invited to a lot more parties!
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|  | | Wake Up And Smell The Coffin
Are you reading Chicken Soup for the Departed Soul? Is Weed Killer now more important than Killer Weed? Has LSD come to mean Low Sodium Diet? Have you joined a 12 Step Program just to get up twelve steps? Are the Grateful Dead friends of yours who've visited Dr. Kevorkian? Then congratulations! This is the right book for you!
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