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|  | | Bingo and Bullets - Book One: The Borzelliero Bunch
Crabley-on-Sea is a town under siege... from its own 'killer crinklies'...
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'Bingo and Bullets' is the tale of a ruthless criminal empire with a difference; all of its members are elderly women with a taste for foul language, violence, extortion, murder, and, of course, unusual moniker's. Led by the mysterious Edna 'Big Bunn' Borzelliero, and following a Mafiosa-style hierarchy, 'The Borzelliero Bunch' are hell-bent on taking control of the quiet seaside town of Crabley-on-Sea for their own personal gain. 'Bingo and Bullets' chronicles the lives and crimes of the various members of | |  | | Bingo and Bullets - Book Two: The Scarpelli Scorpions
The 'killer crinklies' of Crabley-on-Sea return in book two of the 'Bingo and Bullets' saga.
span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS';">span style="font-size: small;">With rival gang 'The Krabley Krew' safely disposed of, the Mafiosa-styled 'Borzelliero Bunch' - a collective of foul-mouthed, homicidal old ladies who are led by a mysterious, wheelchair-bound woman called Edna Borzelliero - have to deal with betrayal in their own ranks, in the form of the treacherous and psychopathic 'Scarpelli Scorpions'. /span>br />
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span style="font-size: small;">'Bingo and Bullets - Book Two: The Scarp | |  | | Bingo and Bullets - The Killer Wrinklies
The 'killer wrinklies of Crabley-on-Sea' are introduced in this short prequel to the 'Bingo and Bullets' saga...
span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; widows: 1;">Fat Gary Jenkins, an arrogant, anti-social bully and ne'er do-well, takes a particular delight in intimidating his elderly next-door neighbours, but the tables are suddenly turned when he is targeted by a mysterious, mafiosa-style gang that is made up of foul-mouthed, highly violent, female pensioners, all of whom possess incredibly strange, yet exotic, nick-names, in this short prequel to the full-length, darkly humorous novels, 'Bingo and Bullets - The Borzell | |  | | Gilbert and Sulliman, and the Curse of the Red Spider
'Gilbert and Sulliman, and the Curse of the Red Spider' is a humorous fantasy novel set, not in some magical and mythical land, but in the heart of the West Midlands. Gilbert, and his Iraqi house-mate and business partner, Sulliman, are forced to battle against a series of unfortunate events and enemies, including a shape-shifting demon, an escaped pride of lions, rancid 'chicken in a basket' meals, a cursed Egyptian relic, a toxic cloud, an unmanned rocket scheduled to journey to the fiery surface of Venus, a violent Indian Elephant called Daphne, a collapsing electricity pylon that has been struck by a badly piloted UFO, a disembodied spirit, bacteria-ridden hot-dogs, and a mysterious and seductive beauty called Ravi.
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Gilbert Thomas Gorman is a lonely and bored middle-aged man, desperately seeking the love of a good woman. Instead, he finds himself inadvertently lumbered with a new house-mate and business partner in the form of the mysterious Sulliman Jaswah, an obese toy-maker from far away Mosul in Iraq. Meanwhile, a paranormal force is manipulating events with its own agenda in mind, leading Gilbert and Sulliman into a series of increasingly bizarre and deadly situations, all of which are been born from strange a | |  | | Grandad Miller, Serial Killer
You'll never feel safe on your allotment again...
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Brian Miller is a devoted family man in his seventies, with a sinister secret; in the nineteen sixties, he murdered three people and got away with it. But Brian put aside his murderous ways, focusing instead on enjoying a happy life with his new young family. Many years later, a personal tragedy results in Brian's long dormant blood-lust to rise to the surface again, and the ageing serial killer is reborn, leading to a trail of death and destruction with an increasingly high body-count. Grandad Miller seeks | |  | | Grandad Miller, Serial Killer - Triple Kill
You'll never feel safe on your allotment again...
span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">'Grandad Miller, Serial Killer - Triple Kill' contains the three full-length novels, 'Grandad Miller, Serial Killer', 'The Return of Grandad Miller, Serial Killer', and 'The Curse of Grandad Miller, Serial Killer', which chronicle the murderous adventures of Brian Andrew Miller, an ageing psychopath who decides to resume his killing career after a forty year gap. /span>
br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px | |  | | Jeremy and the Summer of Stalking
'Jeremy and the Summer of Stalking' is a strange, humorous tale about Jeremy Felliwell, a sociopath, loner, pervert, stalker and poet. Jeremy's already chaotic existence deteriorates rapidly with the arrival of Lucinda, a brutal half-sister that he never knew existed, and a mysterious stalker known only as 'Sultry Ella'.
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">My name is Jeremy. I am a liar, a fraud, a parasite. I am without morals. I am a socio-path. I have made people disappear off the face of this earth, and it could happen to you if you get in my way. Most of my family hate me, they know what I am; I disgust them. I am an outcast. It's flipping brilliant, isn't it? I'm having a great old flipping time! I'll speak to you later, I'm off for an egg sandwich now, and then for a spot of spying on the neighbour using my military-strength binoculars (with night visio | |  | | Jeremy and the Winter of the World-Wide Stalker
Britain's strangest pervert and stalker is back, weirder, filthier, and sexier than ever before!
'Jeremy and the Winter of the World-Wide Stalker' sees the return of Jeremy Felliwell, who, once again, has recently been released from a mysterious 'establishment' following his suicide (and inexplicable resurrection) six years earlier.
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Jeremy is now living a relatively happy existence in a new council flat, together with his masked, satanic cousin, Vanessa, and occupying himself by spying on his sexy new neighbour, annoying and humiliating his long-suffering care worker on their fortnightly shopping trips, and building an updated, mysterious 'device'. Jeremy's future is threatened, however, with the arrival on the world stage of the immensely popular 'super stalker' known only as 'IOU'. Will Jeremy be able to rise to the challenge that thi | |  | | Jeremy's Juicy Pair
'Jeremy's Juicy Pair' contains the two full-length novels, 'Jeremy and the Summer of Stalking', and its sequel, 'Jeremy and the Winter of the World-Wide Stalker'.
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">'Jeremy and the Summer of Stalking' /span>br style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;" />
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Jeremy Felliwell is a very strange and unhinged individual; recently released back into society from a mysterious ‘establishment’, and shunned by most of his family because of ‘that thing that happened with great auntie Mavis shortly after Christmas lunch in 2003’, | |  | | Jeremy's Little Book of Stalker Greetings Card Messages
For all of you stalkers living in this modern day and age, it can be difficult finding the time to sit down and compose greetings messages for the object/s of your desire/s. You need worry no more! Veteran stalker (and indeed, 'stalkee') Jeremy Felliwell, star of 'Jeremy and the Summer of Stalking', has taken time out from his busy schedule of spying and making anonymous telephone calls to share with you his favourite customized stalker greetings card messages, covering all sorts of occasions
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Are you stalking someone who is about to celebrate their birthday, and you don't know how to convey a message of congratulations? Are you wondering how to broach the subject of Christmas with your prey? Or perhaps it's Valentines Day, and you want to send an appropriate message to your victim? Then worry no more, 'Jeremy's Little Book of Stalker Greetings Card Messages' covers all of these joyous occasions and many more, with sixty messages of unhinged obsession with which to titillate your quarry. It also i | |  | | Milly Flopper, Psycho Copper
The year is 2057, and a serial-killer known only as 'Shy-Boy' is making his presence felt deep in the heart of the decaying, slum-ridden English city of Blackchapel. Assigned to investigate the series of murders are two privately-funded policewomen, the level-headed and professional Stacey Hetheridge, and her erratic, lice-infested and booze-addled colleague, Milly Flopper, who just happens to harbour a very dark secret; the young woman is a dangerous psychopath, who has secretly killed before, and is only too keen to murder again.
p class="p1">span class="s1">'Milly Flopper, Psycho Copper' provides not only a brutally dark and humorous tale of two very different women trying their best to solve a baffling murder mystery, but also offers a disturbing look forward, at a completely dysfunctional future that England might well be slowly sleep-walking towards... /span>
p class="p2">span class="s1">Disclaimer: 'Milly Flopper, Psycho Copper' contains scenes of violence and coarse-language, and is most definitely not for minors. Similarly, if you are easily offended, then it is highly recommended that you do not | |  | | Murderer
The uncaring and brutal city of Blackchapel provides little in the way of shelter for its downtrodden - and often totally destitute - residents who find themselves forced to live there. A forty-year old man, Carl, is trying to get by as best as he can in the harsh and selfish environment that shrouds the city, leading a quiet and unassuming life in one of its decaying tower-blocks. However, Carl's life is turned inside-out when he finds himself unexpectedly and savagely 'crossing the line', and committing the unspeakable..
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The uncaring and brutal city of Blackchapel provides little in the way of shelter for its downtrodden - and often totally destitute - residents who find themselves forced to live there. A forty-year old man, Carl, is trying to get by as best as he can in the harsh and selfish environment that shrouds the city, leading a quiet and unassuming life in one of its decaying tower-blocks. However, Carl's life is turned inside-out when he finds himself unexpectedly and savagely 'crossing the line', and committ | |  | | Punk Slut
If you enjoy a nice slice of raunch, combined with crushing disappointment, then 'Punk Slut' is just for you
span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; widows: 1;">Detailing the curious (and incredibly flimsy) tale of a lustful incubus called Donna Peasbody, 'Punk Slut' is erotic fiction with a difference; it is authored by non-other than the infamous Anne Thickett, whose poor grasp of the written word quickly destroys the story at hand! /span>br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; widows: 1;" />
br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-fam | |  | | The Black Pathway
In Howard Trenton's case, he may be the first truly 'inhuman' serial killer to ever walk the Earth...
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">In Howard Trenton's case, he may well be the first truly 'inhuman' serial killer to have ever walked the Earth... /span>br style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;" />
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span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The Black Pathway Trail is a thirty mile walk that starts in the dying coastal town of Coldsleet, and which crosses moorland, cuts through forest, and scales two mount | |  | | The Curse of Grandad Miller, Serial Killer
Someone else has stepped into Brian Miller's slippers...
span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">Grandad Miller, Serial Killer returns... but this time, with a bite. 'The Curse of Grandad Miller, Serial Killer', tells the deliciously dark story of the mysterious imposter, who believes himself to be the mass murderer, Brian Miller... but all is not quite what it seems in this tale of violent death, resurrection, and redemption, that concludes the 'Grandad Miller, Serial Killer' saga. /span>br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font- | |  | | The Dead Winter Mountain Murders
They say that Stephen Hartley is one of the United Kingdom's worst serial killers... perhaps... but he's definitely the most nerdy.
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">When the body of a woman is found buried in a peat-bog near Scarr Mountain, a police investigation quickly unearths many more grim discoveries in the surrounding area. Soon, their number one suspect is in custody... a geeky, squeamish, anxiety-ridden cry-baby with a passion for model trains, golf, bad sci-fi movies, nerdy pod-casts, soft rock ballads, Albanian underground techno, and hideous home-made pizza's. /span>
span style="font-family: verdana, arial, helvetica, sans | |  | | The Dead Winter Mountain Murders - Part Zero: The Runaway
Do serial killers wear loud, hand-knitted jumpers with pictures of fluffy kittens sewn into them? Are they sometimes obsessed with trains? And buses? Is it normal for a serial killer to be a sci-fi bore?
span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; widows: 1;">Do mass murderers go to church and believe in God? Do they make their own, disgusting, wine out of custard? How many serial killers wear golfing trousers together with a ghastly combination of furry yellow socks and bright purple sandals? Do serial killers often break down in front of the victim due to their partner swanning off abroad, on a Christmas jolly with two local tarts called Christine and Kelly? These are the questions pondered upon by a young and unha | |  | | The Dragon Lectures - Love
Sometimes, we all need a little guidance in our lives, delivered to us by a unique individual whose wisdom and experience with the world knows no bounds.
span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.4px;">Valerie Coxton is a woman who finds herself at a crossroads in life; still living (unhappily) at home with her parents and brother, she is about to embark on a new and exciting future with her lover, Sharon. There's just one thing standing in Valerie's way; her obnoxious, drunken, moralising and truly monstrous mother, Kath Coxton, AKA 'The Dragon'. /span>
| |  | | The Return of Grandad Miller, Serial Killer
This time, the hunter becomes the hunted...
span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">Psychopathic pensioner, Brian Miller, returns in this sequel to the original 'Grandad Miller, Serial Killer' novel. With a bad back, clicking hip, and knackered knackers, Brian faces a new set of deadly and disturbing challenges, including an organised gang intent on claiming the bounty put on his head, a sadistic female serial killer with a passion for murdering elderly men, a vindictive woman whose main hobby involves leaving poo-filled parcels outside people's caravan | |  | | The Show Home Spree Killer
Meet 'Mr Momoh'... a morose and unhappy man with frustrated desires, a show home that he can barely afford, a wife that hates him, and a mean-spirited boss that treats her sullen and miserable moustached employee with nothing but contempt. Meet 'Mr Momoh'... a man who is about to snap, and declare war on those who delight in dragging him down...
p class="p1">span class="s1">Meet 'Mr Momoh'... a morose and unhappy man with frustrated desires, a show home that he can barely afford, a wife that hates him, and a mean-spirited boss that treats her sullen and miserable moustached employee with nothing but contempt. Meet 'Mr Momoh'... a man who is about to snap, and declare war on those who delight in dragging him down... /span>
| |  | | The Trials of Christopher Saint
He's a saint by name, but not by nature...
span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.4px;">Meet Christopher Saint, a tough and streetwise geezer who is about to face a series of deadly challenges in this old-school, darkly humorous tale of traditional British gangland fun, jealousy, violence and murder, brought to you by the author of 'Grandad Miller, Serial Killer' and 'The Dead Winter Mountain Murders', Mark C Sutton. /span>br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.4px;" />
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