Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} I was born on a snowy day in 1973.  Ah, I remember it well; let me tell you all about it.  What, you don’t want to hear about my life from birth till this moment?  Well, just know that if you happen to write and publish your life story, I will never read it.  And if you sell the story rights I will never watch the movie. NEVER! I have written for as long as I can remember, crazy stories, twisted stories, funny stories.  In college I earned extra dough writing speeches for roasts, weddings, and Bar and Bat Mitzvah candle lightings.  I earned more, however as a Bacardi Girl. I have journaled on and off since the 2nd grade, thinking it would be something I would give to my children.  In high school I realized my journals were filled with things that would sear their innocent little eyes, so I hid them. When my son was born he cried for 8 months straight, non-stop, without break, continuously, chronically, quite a bit.  So I would write these column style articles about all the little things, to keep myself sane, and away from my 14 story window ledge.  That’s what I do now.  I find the humor in the everyday and it keeps me sane.  That and I live in a one story house.  So every time I jump I consider it an opportunity to clean up the toys in the yard.   My influences are comedians:   Seinfeld- for his observations about nothing                                                                 Jon Stewart-for his wit                                                                 Early SNL-for it’s drug induced insanity                                                                 Sara Silverman-for her balls                                                                 The Tin Man-for his heart, that was with him all the time