Another wonderful and subtly explosive use of ellipses. Couldn't help but flash on a Zen lesson of many years ago: The root of all unhappiness is attachment.
echoes within the drift of concrete stories untold carry you, stain maybe refrain you till within a firehydrant's puddle/ water mirror carry my dreams beyond the screams, if to drown me, if to carry me free...
Reviewed by Alexandra Midnight (Reader)
Reviewed on July 7, 2012
Hi Asa, I think that is a great sentiment. "Attach me onto...always" just has a great ring to it, its something I may do. I like that picture too. Nicely done.
Asa,
Thank you for directing me to your page and also thank you for reviewing my poem The River Whispers. I like this poem Asa, trading never for always. I will be tracking you.
Asa, I am not a deep thinker and whatever I write is what I feel without hidden embellishments wherein the reader has to guess at my feelings, and what I get from your eight words is that you want those that know you to never forget you, but to have you in their memory forever.
Mark
it's a perfect example of 'how much' you can say with a few words- when the words keep the strength of the emotion!
like it! is the illustration also yours?!
Dear Asa:
It is a deep poem. I perhaps do not understand what you meant to express. I understand that always is more positive than never. I am expressing what I get from the poem. I personally avoid expressing both words in many situations. They take away choice and may indicate predicting future (putting us/others in a limiting box). These words usually indicate grief. Imagine someone telling a friend "you never cared for me" or "You were always angry". Person expressing those words are upset about some behavior in the past and the words may indicate they expect this be so in the future (always, never). We mostly have choices at any moment and we can change what we have done in the past (so it is not always - only in the past).
Blessings,
Shervin
Reviewed by Diana Legun (Reader)
Reviewed on May 31, 2012
I accept your invitation, Asa, to comment on "The Trade." Your brevity appeals to my love of brevity; love of the much that fills the less. It is likely no surprise to you that I find these three lines to be a mountain, a volcano, a bloom, a funnel, a trumpet bell, in visual shape, inverted and reversed. It can be read from the bottom upwards and carry the mirrored message. The shape can be seen as a solitaire ring setting, prongs rising high to carry the diamond of the words it contains and the sparkle of spirit and positivity the concept presents. Thank you, Asa, for showing this writing. ~~ Diana
Asa,
Always think in the positive zone of life. Positivity reaps abundance and joy. You have learned this, and that is a wonderful blessing in itself.
Keep writing you have great insight and much to share with the world.
"The Trade" If only I could understand it, Asa! Nonetheless, it has been written with 8 words, and the last one is always! And so, it's my hope that you'll always be blessed!
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Namaste'
dan
AM
Thank you for directing me to your page and also thank you for reviewing my poem The River Whispers. I like this poem Asa, trading never for always. I will be tracking you.
Many blessings,
+Linda
Mark
like it! is the illustration also yours?!
It is a deep poem. I perhaps do not understand what you meant to express. I understand that always is more positive than never. I am expressing what I get from the poem. I personally avoid expressing both words in many situations. They take away choice and may indicate predicting future (putting us/others in a limiting box). These words usually indicate grief. Imagine someone telling a friend "you never cared for me" or "You were always angry". Person expressing those words are upset about some behavior in the past and the words may indicate they expect this be so in the future (always, never). We mostly have choices at any moment and we can change what we have done in the past (so it is not always - only in the past).
Blessings,
Shervin
Always think in the positive zone of life. Positivity reaps abundance and joy. You have learned this, and that is a wonderful blessing in itself.
Keep writing you have great insight and much to share with the world.
Peace, love and light,
Amber
Love ya!
Jane
Regis
Excellent write and image for thought.
Lady Mary Ann
Ron
good work
Budd