Times Table

Two ones are two,
 

Two twos are four,
 

Don’t fancy Jenny any more,
 

Two threes are six,
 

Two fours are eight,
 

Think I’ll ask Mary for a date,
 

Two fives are ten,
 

Two sixes are twelve,
 

Two sevens are fourteen,
 

She looks just like a beauty queen,
 

Two eights are sixteen,
 

Two nines are eighteen,
 

With hair of brown and eyes of green,
 

Two tens are twenty,
 

Two elevens are twenty-two,
 

I’ll ask here once this lesson’s through,
 

Two twelves are twenty-four,
 

Three ones are three,
 

Three twos are six,
 

I will maybe ask her to the pics,
 

Three threes are nine,
 

Three fours are twelve,
 

Three fives are fifteen,
 

Three sixes are eighteen,
 

But mustn’t let her think that I’m too keen,
 

Three sevens are twenty-one,
 

Three eights are twenty-four,
 

Even thou she’s the one that I adore,
 

Three nines are twenty-seven,
 

Three tens are thirty,
 

Three elevens are thirty-three,
 

Wow, she’s pointing and whispering to her friend about me,
 

Three twelves are thirty-six,
 

Four ones are four,
 

Four twos are eight,
 

They’re giggling and laughing about my weight,
 

Four threes are twelve,
 

Four fours are sixteen,
 

Four fives are twenty,
 

Four sixes are twenty-four,
 

Don’t think I like her any more,
 

Four sevens are twenty-six,
 

Four eights are thirty-one,
 

Four nines are thirty-seven,
 

Miss, I need to go to the toilet!

 
 Note: This is not an extract from "The Secret Diary of Adrian Cat".