MAMMOTH MAMMOGRAPHY CENTER
Deep Canyon Drive...Suites 30-AA to 44-DD...Two Buttes, Colorado
Phone...1-800-GET-FLAT
"We Want To Be Your Main Squeeze"
Dear Ms. Flatly,
The results of your recent mammography examination are as follows:
( ) Unable to read x-ray film due to lack of subject matter.
( ) The possibility exists that your shoulder blades were examined by mistake.
( ) Film was damaged by the carelessness of a technician during a fit of laughter.
( ) The examiner was unable to properly adjust the settings while blindfolded.
( ) The glow that you are currently experiencing might be due to excess radiation.
( ) You failed to hold your breath when required ...(next time, keep in mind that when you are told “hold your breath”, a reply isn’t necessary.)
(*) All of the above.
We suggest that you schedule an appointment at your earliest possible convenience, to have this test repeated.
Sincerely,
Chester Tester
Public Information Director
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Reviewed by zan nordlund
8/17/2003
Had my first "Main Squeeze" recently by a perky little twenty-something blonde at 7AM. She was thrilled to tell me she was "Getting great photos because I had fatty breasts." I told her she should X-Ray the other end. It would give her something to call her mommy about at recess. Suddenly she wasn't so perky....I'm not such a morning person.....Thanks for a fun read!! Regards-Zan
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