After reading this very tolerant letter to a friend (who actually read it all), as my first "short story", I realize how much I NEED A LIFE!!! This email was exciting to me then. Reading it back is pathetic, but true . I have no life. I must expound on the little things and create more color, even if there IS NO real content. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT....
Tip: I am an over-medicated agoraphobic who makes pill cocktails for deep sleep to erase my feelings of insignificance after losing my ability to play the flute due to dentures. Now I have no life, or a very small one. Please critique this as it is my first "short story" that I got from an old email I sent a friend. I have several very long rambling thoughts in every writing. I need help creating a special feeling from a silly little experience. Anybody got any ideas?
I have such a good friend in you. And in my husband. He put together right above my computer a wall covered in pictures of butterflies and told me I am a butterfly in my cocoon and that I will come out of it as a butterfly. He hung a couple of crosses and my Goddesss of fertility necklace up there too., along with my lock of feathers that I have on a barette that I wear in my hair sometimes. He is really being good to me now. I didn't take but 2 xanax and 1 oxycodone yesterday. I'm awake because I took a nap and I can't sleep right now. I bought an external hard drive and it fixed my problems of overloading my computer. I have so much stuff duplicated because the jerk who programmed my computer (my girlfriend's husband) added users down below the C: drive and one of them is Donnattella, not Donnatella, so I have both of them copying at the same time. Donnatella (the right way) is on my Desktop and Donnattella is in "Users" way at the bottom of the tree, past the recycle bin. What an asshole. I asked him to fix it and he said he couldn't. Now I have to save my money and go to the geek squad at Best Buy and have them redo my computer. That's expensive. But in the meantime, I have it covered with an external harddrive, spilling everything extra into that, relieving the load on my computer.
My husband just woke up so I gotta go. I woke him up with my typing. I'm doing okay today. I ordered some memory wire to make some bracelets with the rest of my beads. That will give me something to do in the meantime. I will make bracelets that wrap around 3 or 4 times. I figure I can make about 10 of them with my beads I have. I may buy some narrow longer beads to put on them to take up more room and less beading LOL. Well, I just wanted you to know I'm okay. I went to Michaels Art Supply store and bought some fake flowers and made a couple of beautiful bouquets. I have 3 bouquets and 2 vases, so I used a kitchen mitten hanging on the wall to put some flowers in. I have flowers all over the place. I should be a florist. I love doing that. (I just went and took pictures of them for you, attached.) I was just taking pictures of my bouquets and Michael says, "What are you DOING?!" I said, "I'm taking pictures of my bouquets for Ginny." He just shrugged and said whatever and went back to sleep. He's probably thinking "That's my wife!" I must say, he is a good man and so tolerant with me. I'm tolerant of him too. We both have goals together this year of no more partying (pot and beer parties in our kitchen) and to get healthy together.
Surprise, surprise, surprise....he just handed me my xanax and told me to take care of myself. He was monitoring me and I told him I only took 2 today. That was fast trust. I'm going to have him still hold onto them for me. I don't trust MYSELF. At least I'm honest about it. It's so easy to pop 3 at a time and take a nap. Adios baby... NOT. I must stop that. I slept today without them. I am fighting whatever Michael has had for 2 weeks. I haven't gotten it YET. I wasn't up to par today so I took it easy. He did laundry and so tomorrow we have the fun chore of finding enough room to put it into an organized fashion. His clothes never have found a permanent home. I tried once, but that was in vain. I'll try again tomorrow.
I'm going back to bed. I have a couple more emails to delete and that's it. I never have more than 20 or 30 emails in my box. It got up to 160 this week and I freaked out. It was an anxiety attack! So, I check mark all of them then go down the list and uncheck what I want to keep. Sometimes I "unsubscribe" from time to time just to get rid of them. It's time again to do that. I also have to practice typing fast because I am going to look for a legal or general typing job. They are out there. I can do that with my eyes closed. I also will do my beading. So I do have mini goals set up for the week. My husband had me order an LED therapeutic light for those sunless days so I won't get so depressed. It will be here tomorrow. I guess they really work, like in Seattle and shit. Where people REALLY don't have sunlight. I just don't go outside, although it's been raining for weeks it seems. I think it will be nice tomorrow. I will get outside and take a walk to the store down the street for my Arizona iced teas. I'm addicted to them. $.99 a can and they are big cans with several flavors. We ordered a case of my favorite Ceylon flavored tea from our neighborhood store but it is all gone. We ordered another one!!! They miss me buying cigarettes. I still don't smoke. I have my electronic cigarette (e-cig) and I'm happy with that. I have a normal looking one that looks like a cigarette that I got first through a commercial, bought it after the "trial period", then researched them and how they are made. There are two different kinds so I bought the other kind and like it much better. I is black with a stainless steel filter and a blue light comes on when I take a drag. It's really cool and works much better.
Well, gotta go before the sun comes up. I'm going back to bed. Remember to take time out from time to time. You need to do that for yourself. It's okay to do nothing. I should take half of your load. Take care and keep in touch. Love ya...
TRUE STORY. Bella survived an abusive powerbroker father with organized crime ties, a drug-addicted mother and a physically/sexually abusive brother. Shocking & inspirational. When she couldn't cry, she tattooed a crying angel to cry for her.
A passionate and poignant memoir written by a woman whose life has been guided by the words: "I am here to learn how to love well." The book is a deep examination of relationships, family, motivation, and honoring of the Self.
