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Danny E. Allen

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Sequoia Trail-Ch. 1
by Danny E. Allen
Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Rated "G" by the Author.

       
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     Second in series of four, Bo Jon Littlehorse has to decide and save a killer that once was a soldier during the Vietnam war, an official attache that's murdered. Read the whole book at www.smashwords.com/profile/view/allendan5. Don't miss-out on the excitement!!!

~One~ Trees on fire… …The water-held helicopter let-loose of hundred of gallons of water onto the forest-flames... Which plumed high-above the pines... The radio-signals, from the ground-crew called a ‘thanks’ and yelled-for more. The emblazoned-woodland had gotten eaten-up 40 square-miles and was burning trees like toothpicks. Albert Simmons, had never known such vegetation to ash-in 240-hours. He and five Oregon-based Elitists fire-fighting-forces brought-in as main-counter insurgent. He and his comrades; Joe Sinkle, David Garr, Sam Thetis and the two-brothers; borne-on as the cubs of the group... ...Tom and Gene McThenis and the rest, fought-together around-the-clock for three-days. Sam had an anniversary coming-up soon. ‘Divide the line, men... We need to stake-and-run.” Joe, was Albert’s second-hand man; he knew all Albert(Al) knew… As the ten-day-old burning hit further upstate. It was late-Fall, when the air was becoming ‘rigid’. And everything was still-moist; flashed and sparked. Sam was tiring, as his-Commander moved with speed. Al glanced-at Sam then at the rest of the crew, who-were black with soot. He yelled-orders while his-men reacted-in sequence. He ran-up ahead of them as they carried-out fire-fighting technique, against-the-odds. The copters, were conveying-back and forth. ...Al was out, ahead of the flames. His-crew were struggling-behind, but still-following their-Chief. ...He sat on a ridge-awaiting of his-men; decided-it was time to do something, out-of-the-ordinary… “Sam!” Yelled David. With Joe, not far-behind, trying to breathe through all the smoke. “Where is Al?” Sam did not know where Al was. But he knew, he wouldn’t leave them. ….David, was a well experienced-fighter, he was taught what to do, and what not to do. The fire kept-up an invisible honor-line; each pitching and plowing-dirt, putting-up break-lines, and moving-on. The group was well-skilled the best, coming from the countryside of Washington and taught every aspect of every-contention. Gene was the ‘tooler’ of the group. Of the rest of the crowd, he was the least-liked... He had a drinking-habit, a broken family life, occasional-bouts of anger and periods of depression... He lived-up in the mountains where he stayed-in solitude. With long-times alone and at peace, he was getting back-on his-feet. None of his struggles put him out of doing his-duties. He was both, given the job and proven-worthy. For that reason, his rural-lifestyle had given him Wilderness-‘smarts’. Although, he had to work as a team, he proved himself, fully-competent under all circumstances. He at 27, was still considered a ‘cub’. His brother, who was 8-years younger joined the crew, after he did. He enjoyed-adventure, and was preparing to join the Marines. But he had unsettled-business with his-brother, whom he cared-for, and wanted him to retake-hold of his-life. Tom was more of a ‘buck’, but he had taken himself very-serious. Which was one of the reasons his brother and the rest of the crew thought it was a well-worthy occupation for him… He was now-inhaling smoke as he had taken the ‘lit’ cigarette-end of the job...as they called-it. His youthful-energies and simple wild-instincts, often gave him the ‘brunt’ followed-by his older-brother. Gene could see the shadow-of-flames behind him and the spray-of sunlight ahead, where safety lay. David was forestry-commissioned, he was under direct-command by the department of U.S.F.S. A strategic-tactician, he was the one given the ‘order’ to be parachuted-in. David, was responsible for his party and to keep abreast of his-sector of the fire-zone. Although, he was not a demanding-officer giving others the operational-lead as he saw fit, and was being qualified as one of the abilities in his-position. He was keeping-watch as the next water-copter unway-layed its load. He was planting himself near the heat-zone, but he knew exactly, the risks. He was planning to join forces with Tom and Gene, then signed Sam and Joe to converge at an open stretch-point, then head to the next-rise to regroup. Joe was smelling of methane and soot, he’d watched the flames curl in the lower-valley, which meant it was turning into the wind. Joe ran toward the natural-path where the men were moving quickly, up the valley; he could hear a radio-receiver meaning the coordinator was sending-calls... Even though, it was cool and moist the trees’ natural-burning effect to sow seeds of burning pine-combs, was getting even-louder. ...Which meant the fire wasn’t too hot, and smoke was getting-thicker. He yelled-for the four-men down the shunt and ran-on to find his-company. The trees burned-steadily, as the fierce-view from atop, became the plumes of furnacing-fodder. Time-was running-out, the team was now heading to their boss’s beckon. David had regrouped his men, they then headed-up the brush-trail, as he looked on further he saw the pitch-point; where the trees were beginning to just catch. He heard Joe’s voice, he could hear the Mc Thenis boys deeply-breathing trying to keep-up. He knew they were taking the last-action before bugging-out. He looked-back, to see just where they were and arm-fetched them-on, as he headed-out onto the pre-clearing site of the next-stop... With a typical forest-fire the flames would have had acres in its-path that meant a 2,600 acre flash would come to be an million-acre disaster. .. They were at its heart that was their-job, the ‘flash-pan‘ and responsibility-for not getting kill and survive into a fire. So every instance was critical and had to be an exact-act. David knew this as the rest-of the crew... ~~~ It was warm in that summer, as each in the last three-years... The Northern-western states were experiencing a dry-season with storms coming, sporadically. In each of their-course; there were fires, springing-up like dandelions. The Oregon state Elite-Brigade had seen fires come every seven-days... Running from site to-site, from Oregon to Minnesota. Joe had ran the Unit, as an instructor; for in-coming enlistees. David-had done an exemplary job, earlier that season; he’d enjoyed being a spearhead in each fire-fight. He was an effective-coordinator. Gene and Tom, were involved-in the timberline-business; cutting lumber up-stream and sending it in large-numbers down to the mill-works. That’s were Tom honed his treeing-skills; while Gene handled the bartering-side to lumbering and lucidity, as wise-ruralist… He had taken to caring for his-brother, like the child he never had before. They were enlisted as optional volunteer-Elitists. Which they proved early that Spring. Tom was proud, as he was more reserving, and competent. They both had been passed-over in every-other fire-event as they were working and sought only under ‘under-siege’ circumstances; his-basic job was simple; he did like the excitement, almost as much as his younger-brother... Sam was a conservationist, animologist and environmental-researcher; who’d spent the summers in the same areas-of work… ...He was 16, when he worked through-out Helena State Park when seven-days later, while his-parents were shuttling him home from his outing; the mountain-exploded... He remembered how dark the sky became almost pitch-dark. He had never seen such disaster in his-life… The summer, for him was absorbed in planting-scanner-tags of certain animal-populations, and charting their-habits. He was also, on an ever-involvement in the projects of ‘hit-and-miss’ forest-burning, long a controversial-idea. He gave in, on that side of his-belief he presented in Conservation-classes. Dave was in and out of the fighters’ brigade-barracks, being on-call with the crew that he marked his-helmet with scratched etchings of trees... Once a military-man, a Naval-man during the Vietnam-conflict...running along the Macon-Delta with gun-ships, assaulting Vietcong-insurgents... He was hand-picked to be an ordinate, to a fire-defense unit; to take-charge of a crew... Although, he knew what he had to work with as an indigenous, un-adept number-of men... He didn’t waste time. Although that summer, he went-over plans to make sure that the Elite-group had the performance-backgrounds, and a sense of the job. He’d been jumping with a number of groups from Iowa to Minnesota... All the factors, issues and intricacies that he had become accomplished and skilled to followed-through upon... He posted a regiment for what that profile of his men would work under. Most of the men, he encountered were good-firefighters. But he needed more basis for application and ability; to focus on ‘urgency’ and ‘reliability’. To deem men ‘worthy’ had taken a lot of proficient and efficient-research... With summer’s end he had 80-men, willing to join and 20-who were good-candidates. He made the last-decision, by super-imposing them in each of the unique-circumstances. Of the 20, he narrowed that down to 8. Into Fall, he trained these-8, intensely. Finally, six were chosen. Patrick Wilcox, was a helicopter-flyer for fires, vacationers, and wild-animal research, he loved his job. But one warm-summer day he was heading-up into the mountain-range with explorers when his chopper crashed, killing all men on-board. The bodies were found 75-miles into wilderness country. Patrick was buried as David Garr had just-approved the his approved official-orders… It was down to five. The high-mountains were growing snow-capped, and the Elk were working their way down valley. 

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Reviewed by Ronald Hull 10/28/2015
Aside from the formatting problem that results from using the latest versions of MS Word and pasting your text directly into the AD editor, the writing is also very dense and filled with vocabulary and nuances that seem to lead nowhere in this mighty quest of Bo's for David. And then, when you get to the descriptive parts, they seem rather flat and non descriptive. All of the quoted words and hyphenated words get in the way of reading, as well.

I'm sorry but my overall impression is not about the story, that may be good, but about the overwriting that you seem to be doing to impress the reader (or perhaps some literary critic) with your vocabulary and writing style.

If you want the format to be better, try using an older version of Microsoft Word, pasting your document from a saved rich text format (.rtf) or text (.txt) or turning off the AD editor before pasting.

Good luck with your writing…

Ron

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