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Haim kadman

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The Louvre fugitive
by Haim kadman
Sunday, November 29, 2020

Rated "G" by the Author.

       
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     An incredible encounter in a Viennese restaurant.

 The Louvre fugitive


Right after having crossed the restaurant's threshold I've seen her. I couldn't believe my eyes, and
I kept rubbing them so astounded I was; but I recovered right away and moved towards her table very cautiously. She sat at the far end of the long restaurant's hall, which was almost empty apart from one couple and a lone customer; who didn't bother to cast an eye in her direction – whose direction? The Mona Lisa!!!

I approached her table very carefully, scrutinizing her features. Is it really her? Yes it's her without the slightest doubt!

She raised her eyes and watched me getting nearer, suspiciously without uttering a single word, she didn't smile her enigmatic smile at that moment of course.
I bent forward putting my hands on the chair's backrest right opposite her.

'May I join you?' I asked her in a rather low voice.
'You may if you'll pay the bill.'
'Sure and with pleasure and not just the bill,' I replied smiling. I moved the chair a bit backwards and sat down opposite her. 

'There's no need to rush things,' she hastened to answer suspiciously still. 'Do behave as an old acquaintance of mine and don't betray my presence here, I've got here incognito.' 

'I'll be the old acquaintance of yours just as you wish, for I adore you, but how did you get here? How have you managed to leave the Louvre?'
'I escaped by the skin of my teeth, but it's a long story. I almost suffocated there behind the glass partition, it's so crowded on weekends, and the French bath once a month…

'But why Vienna I thought…'

'Well yes I would have preferred to have a 'Roman holiday' and meeting Rafael now after Leonardo passed away… I would have followed him to Orvietto.'
'You mean Orbino…'

Che Dio m'aiuta (do help me God), do you see what those exile years at the Louve have done to me?'
'Rafael of all men, I was sure you would go on someone like Ti
ciano.'

'I'm not fond of the Venetian school, I always prefer Firenze.'

'So why not take on someone like Michel Angelo?'
'What, he isn't a painter, have you seen his blown up images in the Sistine Chapel, and he has a broken nose – I detest him!' She made a short pause and looked around all over the restaurant hall. 'I miss Rome so much and the days with Leonardo but they would have extradited me to the French, and here I'm safe.' 

'I see, I haven't thought on this point of view…'
'And where are you from?'
She took advantage of the sudden silence that fell suddenly.

'I'm from the Holy land.'

'Oh really would you take me with you to Jerusalem… Oh no way, they'll display me in your national museum temporarily and return me to the Louvre.'
'What a pity, it would have been great if I would have taken you with me…'

'Okay forget it, you do stay in some hotel over here, don't you? So take me to your hotel when we'll end our dinner.'

'But I've come on my own, and…'
'So tell them
that I'm your cousin.'

'No it won't do… You know what, you'll enter the lobby a couple of moments after me, and if someone at the reception would wonder who you're, you'll tell him that I expect you at the bar.'
'Fine it seems an acceptable solution, but how are we going to sleep?'

'Oh, there is a rather wide double bed in there.'
'Okay we'll sleep together in the double bed, but no hands please!'

'For all I care let's do it without hands…'
'If that's what brewing in your
mind, I'm leaving addio!'
'No, no please don't go, I was just joking!' I cried out rising to my feet ready to reach her and persuade her to stay on.

'Calm down mister, you're frightening the customers!' I heard a male voice behind me, 
I looked over my shoulder and saw a perturbed waiter, a tall fellow standing right behind me; I looked back at her seat, and all around
me, she wasn't there anymore, but she was still in my mind's eye – the Mona Lisa.


© Haim Kadman 0ctober 2011 – all rights reserved.

 

 

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Reviewed by Ronald Hull 12/2/2020
I never heard of a painting that walked out on its museum. But it was a nice thought, accompanied by appropriate conversation. The thought about sleeping together with no hands would be easy with a painting more difficult with an art connoisseur. Well done.

Ron

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