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Susanne Leist

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by Susanne Leist


We Open at Sunset
by Susanne Leist
Thursday, April 19, 2018

Rated "G" by the Author.

       
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     A short story

 

 

 

WE OPEN AT SUNSET

 

 

 

 

“we open at sunset.”

 

 

 The sun lowers its head in the darkening sky.

A young man pedals his bicycle.

He parks beneath the striped awning,

rushing to his wilting plants.

He brings them into the store.

I cross the street and peek into the window.

The man tends to the leaves with a mister.

He arranges them on a table beneath the window.

The plants straighten their stems.

Their leaves spread wide to hold each other’s hands.

The man steps back with a grin on his face.

Our eyes meet through the glass.

He holds my gaze before turning away.

He’s seen me.

The handsome man moves closer to the door.

His eyes seek mine.

I hold my breath.

A slow smile crosses his face,

dimpling his cheeks beneath sculpted cheekbones.

He waves for me to enter.

I open the glass door as the bell chimes.

The fragrant scent of flowers rises to my nose.

I stand beside the tall man.

Together, we watch the plants as they stretch their stems

toward the rays streaming through the window.

I whisper, “Why do you wait a whole day to water them?”

He faces me. 

“This is the way,” he says.

I scrunch my nose. “What way?”

He smiles.

His dimples reappear. 

“The way of the prior owner

who told me to water them at sunset.”

“What would happen if you forgot?” I ask.

He stares through the window.

“These are special plants that must be watered,”

he replies,

“the same time every day or else they die.”

“Amazing,” I murmur.

The plants glisten in the orange glow

from the sun before it retreats to bed.

The plants drop their hands.

“What happens now?” I ask.

He smiles. 

“They go to sleep.”

“Sweet.”

His dark blue gaze falls on me. 

“Would you like to accompany me to dinner this evening?”

My heart pounds. 

“Will you tell me about the plants?” I ask.

His dimples deepen. 

“Of course. And we can even share our names.”

I giggle. 

“That’s right. I don’t know yours.”

“But I know yours, Amy.”

“How?”

He takes my hand,

placing it in the crook of his arm. 

“All will be explained.”

 

 

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Reviewed by Mary Cochrane 12/19/2018
What a lovely story! Can't wait to read the rest of it! Reminds me of the movie 'Spirited Away'by studio ghibli.
Reviewed by Mystic Rose 6/28/2018
a very entertaining story Susanne,
Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci 4/23/2018
I'll wait for some more, hon.

Love ya!

Jane
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 4/20/2018
At first, I thought you were writing a poem/story. But I see that it is just double-spaced with brief descriptive sentences. Your poetry carries over with phrases like, "his dark blue gaze falls on me."

I like the opening very well, but I think it would be nice if you could post the whole short story that one time. Having it "be continued," reminds me of when I had to dig to back of magazines to try to find the rest of the story. Have no fear. Your story is very intriguing so far.

Ron
Reviewed by John Herlihy 4/19/2018
I am waiting patiently. A lovely opening, intriguing.
Reviewed by Susanne Leist 4/19/2018
I should have explained that the story will be continued. I don't usually write short stories. This is a new adventure for me.
Reviewed by Eva Pasco 4/19/2018
I wish I knew how the florist came to know Amy's name.

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