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Cheptaleel the Pure by Purity Cheptoo
Monday, October 24, 2016
Rated "G" by the Author.
Retelling of the Legend of Cheptaleel, a Kalenjin heroine
Cheptaleel was the only girl in her family, her father's favorite. She was humble, respectful and intelligent yet still firm in manner with the capacity to speak up for herself when the situation required.
She was usually to be found helping around the house, the vegetable plots and in the fields. She was the pride of her mother.
Just as she approached puberty, Kalenjin land was struck by a great famine. Asis, owner of the sky, had held back his blessing for three years.
That morning the elder's came to her father's house, this was the day after a large meeting at Kap'kirougik.
Her father welcomed them with a pot of beer as was the custom. They were later joined by Cheptalil's mother.
Shortly after Cheptaleel was asked to join the meeting. She was apprehensive for it was a meeting of elder's, she knew that she should not speak. She was nervous and more so when she saw her mothers face. Her mother was crying.
The elders informed Cheptaleel that the senior rainmaker had prayed to Asis and the omens had been read. A girl, the purest in the land, would need to go to the lake to pray for rain. She had been chosen.
Early the next day, Cheptaleel set off on her journey to the lake which was a few days away.
Some say her favorite, a young man that was the best warrior of his generation, accompanied her on her journey for he was never seen again after that day. Neither was she.
Your story is much too short to flesh out the dire circumstances surrounding this place you call Kalenjin. Except that she is pure, little is also known about Cheptalil. The story might be more intriguing had you described her journey to the lake. You leave too much up to the reader to fill in the blanks.
Also, elders is not possessive and mother's is possessive.
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