A long time ago,
before pepper could make one sneeze
or peeling onions would bring tears,
the world was a much different place
It was a time when giant puppies roamed the earth
digging up and teething on old dinosaur bones
then burying them again
Fortunately the puppies liked people
and would help them hunt
always eager for the reward
of a Mammoth-Leg or Saber-toothed-Tiger-Ribs

Like all puppies, they loved to play
but were simply too big
to play with humans without hurting them
They watched the humans build monuments
and statues that resembled animals and people
They wondered why these artifacts were so beloved
Why these stone imposters received
so much attention from their creators
They would sniff about curiously
wondering if these monoliths were really alive
Upon discovering they weren't,
the puppies reasoned they were just big toys
their human friends had made for them

The Colossus of Rhodes was the first to fall
A victim of puppy play
Then the nose of the Sphinx went missing
The head of Winged liberty was next.
Soon noses, hands, legs, arms, faces,
even entire torsos, began to vanish
from sculptures around the world.
The evidence of those mischievious puppies
can still be seen in statuary
on display in many museums

As time went on 
the last Mammoth bone was finally buried
and puppies soon began to diminish in size.
With the advent of the Falafel
came puppies that were pretty much
the same size they are today.

Puppies of today are a lot like their ancestors
They love people
enjoy a good treat
digging up and re-burying bones
but most of all
they love to play

Another thing that hasn't changed
is the guilty look a puppy gives you
when you discover
the eyes and nose
of your teddy bear are missing.
It's times like that you are thankful for
pepper-sneezes
onion-tears…
and especially...
Falafels