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Maria Olvera

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Member Since: Dec, 2005

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I Am Nobody's Secret
by Maria Olvera
Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Rated "PG13" by the Author.

       
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     A journey thru a womans life as she healed from an ongoing incestious relationship.

This journey in life that we take has many roads that we go down.  But it isn't very often that we take a road that leads us back to the beginning. 

Let me explain how this happened for me:

On May 5th, 2009 my world seemed to come to a stop.  Everything I knew to be right and everything I thought was wrong no longer existed.  I sat there in my friends green truck and looked at the sky with tears uncontrollably running down my face.  My worlds seemed to collide into each other.  Most people would have thought I was just in the worst car accident of my life as I sat at the red light and let out a scream.  The kind of scream that starts in the pit of your stomach and rises up through your chest and somehow manages to come out of your throat to your vocal chords.  The blood curdling scream as if your child had died right before your eys.

That is how my world came to an end and began all over again. You must understand that this is not my normal character.  I have always been a go getter kind of person.  I work hard and play hard.  I love much.  I enjoy my family and my alone time.  I would never intentionally hurt anybody and I will be the first person to laugh and cry with you.  I take everything you say as truth and doubt it all at the same time.

I had issues.

I was about to find out that the life I knew was a lie.  The life I lived for 38 years was built on someones lies and their own personal agenda.  I was about to go through a very life changing event that would tear at the very foundation I had under me.  I was sinking and sinking fast in the quick sand that my foundation was built on.

I was about to lay before God and have open heart surgery while my eyes were wide open and relying only on His strength to get me through.

The pain I had was anger, regret and shame all wrapped up in one big ball that was causing me to have this heart attack. Not the physical heart attack that eveyone talks about.  I was having an emotional heart attack. This seemed to be worst kind because you don't physically die from this, you feel the pain and want to die only to continue living and hurting.

This is how my life started it's journey to being "Nobody's Secret"

 

 

 

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Reviewed by Donna Chandler 1/25/2011
This one of a handful of passages that touched me so intensely that I actually clicked on your web-site to learn more. (Sadly, it didn't work :( ). The heart wrenching emotion in your words is real!!

Donna

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