Joey is angry over the bullying he has received from Ryan. His uncle helps him think through causes of bullying and responses he can make to the bullying.
Previously published in the 2005 anthology of Southern Illiois Writers Guild.
Life’s Complicated
Joey did not like being in their empty house alone. Especially today. He was seething. Ryan’s shove and taunt in the restroom still hurt: “Come on Retard. Hurry up!” Joey hit the couch with his fist. He’d like to shove Ryan and knock his nose against the wall and make it bleed.
Mom came home smiling. Joey moped to the kitchen where she was chopping veggies. Mom noticed the moping immediately. You look life you’re lost your best friend,” she said.
“I don’t have a best friend,” Joey whined. “I only have enemies. I hate Ryan.”
“Well, we aren’t supposed to hate anyone. But sometimes we do,” Mom said.
Joey told her how Ryan treated him. Tears came to Mom’s eyes. She hugged Joey and said, “Tell him to grow up. Ask him what kind of mother he has that didn’t teach him not to be a bully.” The more she talked, the angrier she got. Joey was sort of sorry he had told her about Ryan.
He noticed three chops on the grill with the veggies and then knew Uncle Doug was coming for supper. Uncle Doug was really his mother’s cousin. He came often because his mother thought Joey needed a male role mode in his life since no one knew where Joey’s father was.
His mother said his father had a lot of growing up to do. She said he was paid “under the table” so he wouldn’t have to pay child support. Joey wasn’t sure what that meant, but he knew his mom thought it was just as well his father wasn’t around. “I wouldn’t want to share you,” she told him.
She also told him that his father was good looking, charming, intelligent, and very talented. Then she would say, “You look a lot like him, and I am pleased you got all his good points and none of his bad. He will be very proud of you when he grows up.”
Joey thought it was remarkable that he got all his dad’s good qualities and none of the bad, but that was just fine. He did not remember his father, so he did not miss him though he made up stories in his head about how proud his father would be of him.
He had Uncle Doug. Some guys didn’t have any male role models. Last spring Uncle Doug took both Joey and his friend Ernie to the father-son campout. He wished they hadn’t moved. Ernie wasn’t mean like Ryan.
Uncle Doug came in grinning with two huge apples. He usually brought him something. When they sat down to supper, his mother said, “Ask Doug what you should do about that jerk Ryan.” Joey could tell she was still mad.
“He calls me Retard,” Joey said.
“Whoa,” Doug said. “Consider something. Is there anything wrong with being retarded? If not, you don’t have to be offended when Ryan calls you that.”
Joe knew Doug was thinking of his brother Larry. Joey often went with Doug to visit at Larry’s house for adults with special needs. “Well, no there’s nothing wrong with being like Larry. I didn’t mean that,” Joey apologized.
“In that case, there is no reason to get upset if Ryan calls you that,” Doug smiled. “And you know what? If you don’t get upset, Ryan will probably quit. Is that what you want?”
“Sure,” Joey agreed.
“You might even tell Ryan about your Uncle Larry. Tell him how proud we are of Larry. Now you are not retarded, so Ryan is not being factual when he calls you that. You might explain that to Ryan also. You don’t need to be mad. You just want to help Ryan learn to be accurate. Explain to him that calling someone something does not make it true . You could even kid Ryan and say that if you called him intelligent, it wouldn’t make him intelligent. But be sure and laugh and be friendly when you say that. Get him to laugh with you.”
“That’s complicated,” Joey said.
“Yeah, life is,” Doug replied. “That is what makes life interesting. I have another idea. Take your apples to school in the morning and give one to Ryan. Tell him you have been thinking about what he called you in the restroom yesterday. Tell him you want to be his friend and help him stop his bad habit of name calling. He sounds like he needs some help. And you are just the kind of good looking, charming, intelligent, and talented kid who could help Ryan. Can I count on you to do that?”
Joey grinned a big grin and said, “Just cause you call me good looking, charming, intelligent, and talented, it doesn’t make me that, does it?”
“You never know. It might,” Uncle Doug said. “Life’s complicated.”
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