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Richard Lloyd Cederberg, click here
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You've forced our hands because you won't disclose where you're living.
Dear…
Here’s my heart. Our recent conversation left me chilled. I cannot believe how far you’ve allowed yourself to fall, and how invidious your view of others has become. Do you honestly think that no one can understand what you’re going through? Sadly things have to change now. Please know that I will never again stand in the way of your decisions, nor will I wag a finger at you when you compromise your magnificent uniqueness destroying your body and mind with dope. Never again will I interfere when you descend into those turbid moods that smother your verve and focus. Despite how it grieves me having to make this decision; I have learned to accept what I cannot change. Honestly! I will never again form a critical opinion of you when your desire for completeness is overshadowed by an inability to achieve it. Know this, (and it comes from the deepest part of my heart) that I will help you in any way I can (if you let me) despite the ruinous behavior you’ve so readily embraced. Know also that I can see clearly in you (now) what I never (by choice) became; that preponderant obsession of yours to stride the meridian where morbid shadows undulate in an artfully sculpted mental prison. Never again will I mention the crooked paths arrogance construes, or the bitter destitute ugly things some adorn their lives with.
You need to forgive. You desperately need to forgive. And not for their sake, but for yours.
The struggle to trust others is not just your struggle. It’s what I see at first in many people as well; what I don’t like about them. I can’t help it. Honestly. I do it to protect myself and those I love. That way there is no threat of being manipulated. Like you, I assume that people are more interested in taking something from me than they are in giving something because it’s happened so many times in the past. You’re not alone. I battle with trusting others just like you. And I also struggle with an isolating pride because of all the discontentment and anger still festering in me about being wounded and grossly misunderstood. But despite all that, all the emotional and spiritual wars that rage against us, here is where my greatest contention with you festers the fiercest; you gave in to drugs and alcohol.
Life wears heavily on everyone as they age; not just you. Getting high doesn’t heal or fix anything. It only temporarily postpones your responsibility to deal with it. Eventually the drugs will undermine your physical health and corrupt your soul. Soon your gifts will be lessened and you won''t even know it. Depression has crushed me terribly, at times, just like you, and being betrayed by someone you loved and trusted can force anyone’s heart into isolation for a season. You are not alone! Harboring the wounds of it becomes like a wet cloak, heavy and smothering, and believe me, it will eventually crush your heart.
In closing… please know that our many shortcomings do not represent who we are, nor do they define a path that must be walked, or adhered to, they only remind us that some of what remains in us is fallow, uncompleted, and in despairing need of understanding and love. If no one cares enough to give you that then get down on your knees and pray for it. You’d be amazed what gut-wrenching prayer can avail. As long as we live there will always be opportunities to better ourselves and for healing. But it’s up to us to stay on the narrow path that allows that. You understand that’s the key don’t you; staying on the narrow path? Know that I only want what’s best for you. I do admire and love you, and my fervent hope is for your complete healing.
Love…
QUOTE: “Surely what a man does when he is taken off guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is. Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth. If there are rats in the cellar, you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man: it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am.
C.S. Lewis
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Web Site:
richardlloydcederberg.com
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well done
I know of three cases like this: Through drugs and alcohol at a very early age, my nephew has estranged himself from our family for many years. A Berkeley educated brilliant engineer that I knew once got hooked on cocaine and ended up on the streets in Las Vegas. She died of cancer. The third person, on drugs most of her life, married three times and in prison twice, is still working on her life with my assistance and encouragement.
Ron
a personal message that is sure to make a profound difference
Blessings,
CT