My hubby recently received a huge desire of his heart – a Hummer. The macho #2 one, not the smaller version. An alpha-man toy!
I was rejoicing with hubby about his new toy. He haughtily informed me that this was NOT a toy. It was a tool… a necessity. I said, “Unh huh. Sure it is.” He may not show it but inside he’s jumping up and down like a little kid going, “Yippie, yippie. I got it! I got it! I’m the man! Yes I am!” He can’t fool me.
When a man achieves a heart’s desire, he tries to be cool about it. Women may tell everyone, laugh and rejoice loudly with one another. Men will smile and act like,“Oh, it's nothing, really.” I say, LIARS!
Since the purchase, hubby has been subjected to jesting (men), joking (men), people (men) begging to test drive his Hummer, people (men) going out in the parking lot to touch his Hummer, people (men) turning and staring as he drove by in the Hummer, and people (men) stopping him and asking questions about his Hummer.
We took the Hummer for a drive one evening. Passing by the little store in our small town, I noticed the tanker truck was there filling the gas tanks. The man was standing on top of the tanker truck. As God is my witness, he almost fell off the tanker truck, staring at the Hummer. He waved (we don't know him) and watched us until we were out of sight. This happens often – people staring at the Hummer as it passes by.
We stopped to eat at a restaurant. Upon leaving, the owner was coming back into the restaurant and stopped my husband to tell him how much he admired his Hummer. The owner had gone outside to check the Hummer out. I can’t describe how it was but if it were a cartoon, his tongue would have been hanging down to his chin and there would have been drool running from the his lips. I swear hubby’s shoulders went back straighter and he strutted back to the vehicle. He’ll deny it, but I was there.
I am so glad my husband has a drool-worthy toy. He went many years without one. After taking it to work, men from the office commented to my hubby about his new toy. Oh they act all cool, but they are so envious, they can’t stand it. They all want to drive it around the block (he lets them). They may talk about needing to drive an economical vehicle for great gas mileage but inside they all still want the biggest, baddest machine on the road.
Nothing has changed since I was in high school when the boys were roaring up and down the street. The toys just got more expensive!!
Boys will be boys. With my hubby, it's Jeeps and jeep related accessories--not to mention his hot-rod project. I figured it would be wrong to stand between him and his child-like delights. I just make sure he's not blowing our mortgage on winches and brush-guards.
The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.
