The other day I was thinking about smoking hot sex. Why?Well – if you have to ask….
Just kidding.
Here’s da thang – hubby and I have been married 14+ years and our sex life is smoking hot. Oh quit acting like I’m talking like a porno queen. Married couples have smoking hot sex lives. I know single people want to believe that the only way to have smoking hot sex is as a single. I have a news flash for you – married people have hotter sex and more of it according to all the research I’ve read. Committed sex is way better.
So why am I talking about it? Well, I’m not, really. What I want to talk about is WHY we have smoking hot sex. Oh stop that – I’m not talking private details. I’m talking respect, honor, and zipped lips. And remembering how it felt when you first dated and what was so wonderful about him.
When I was single, I remember being at work during lunch breaks. I used to listen to the married women talk about their husbands. The things they said should have been left unsaid because they were private things. In other groups of women, they’d get off on the topic of men and what babies they were when they were sick. Often women speak disparagingly about their male counterparts, co-workers, and significant others.
For some reason, women believe that when they get together with their girlfriends or female co-workers, it’s OK to bash their husbands or boyfriends. It’s this “us” against “them” thing and I, for one, HATE IT WITH A PASSION. No woman is more important than my husband.
I’ve learned a really good lesson listening to these women – and watching some of them develop such disrespect for their husbands that they ended up divorced later down the line. It is not OK to bash, disrespect or otherwise ‘dis our significant other when we’re with our girlfriends. When we bash the man in our life, we cut off the smoking hot sex life.
We can’t have smoking hot sex with someone we disrespect. The more we talk against our significant other, the less we really respect him. Keep it up long enough and the next thing you know, we’re treating him like a roommate instead of our lover and best friend.
Leland and I married in our 40’s so I didn’t want to end up with a boring marriage after waiting for him for so long! During our first few months of marriage, we had many conversations about romance, passion and smoking hot sex. We made a promise to one another that we would never fall into the bad habit of being roommates and we’d keep the honeymoon going for all our lives. I know most married couples think they can do this – but few actually do. It takes work and most people get lazy about protecting their marriages.
Leland and I had to learn the ways to keep the focus on one another and not everyone or everything else. We have to honor and respect one another. I can tell you that in 14 years of marriage - 5,230 days - I have not one time spoken badly of Leland to another person on this earth, ever. I have never bad mouthed him or belittled him to anyone. I have never exposed his secrets or what may be considered weaknesses. He has done the same thing for me. He has never bad mouthed me to other guys. Ever.
I know if I focus on something that irritates me and tell other people, pretty soon that is all I see about him and all I talk about. I soon forget any of his good points and all the wonderful things he does for me. I begin to focus on what he isn’t doing for me instead of being grateful for what he is doing and how wonderful he really is. That’s why I don’t disrespect him in public (now, in private… just kidding). He’s too valuable and precious to me – and I want to keep it that way.
Well I must say......KUDOS TO YOU!! It's about time someone spoke up for the men being bashed by their "not so happy" loved ones. You sure did a wonderful job. This should be put in newspapers across the world.......maybe then would women understand how much they would gain in positive chat about their significant others! Women are powerful in so many ways and when they start bashing it goes below who they are in society. I enjoyed this write!
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