You give someone your friendship. And then, after a while, you give him your love. You love him more and more every single day. You give him children and make a comfortable home for him to come to each night.
And then one night, the meal is on the table. He looks at it as if it is poison and goes upstairs to shower and go to bed. The children, a girl of 6 and a boy of 2, look at you as you explain that daddy has had a long rough day and is very, very tired. "So let's eat our dinner and finish that homework and get you into bed."
So you take care of your children and clean up your kitchen. You help your 6 year old with her 2nd grade homework because she’s skipped the 1st grade altogether. You set your son to playing with his quiet toys while homework is done. Then up the stairs for baths and bed, prayers are said, stories read, and soon the two are sleeping.
Back downstairs, you lock up the house and turn out all the lights. You take your bath, slip into bed, and reach over to touch your husband. He turns on you, takes you without love, asking if you are going to reach your peak soon. So, you do your very best “When Harry Met Sally” deli scene and he rolls away from you.
“You are the worst wife, the most terrible mother, a horrible housekeeper. You are lousy at sex and are of no use at all.” Upon hearing these words from the man you have loved, your heart becomes a shattered mirror. And you feel as low as a Denubian Slime Worm.
Denubian Slime Worms are from the planet Denubia in the galaxy of Andromeda, a very small noxious planet on the very far flung edge. The worms burrow down to the very center of the planet and eat the fungi that release the noxious fumes that create the atmosphere of the planet. The planet is where the rest of the populated planets dump their toxic and hazardous refuse. The worms are the only sentient life form on the planet. Self-esteem is non-existent because of the life they are forced to live. It is easy to crush one or ten by stepping on them or by just flying low and releasing the load of refuse.
Actual spoken language is non-existent because the worms are telepathic. They do not, however, have the intelligence to get out of the way of the daily refuse dumps. They have elaborate tunnel systems throughout the planet’s core, but have no leader to guide them.
And so, to be a low as a Denubian Slime Worm or even lower is deadly to the feelings of the heart and to the self-esteem of the person made to feel that way. I am the daughter of God. I refuse to be made to feel lower than a Denubian Slime Worm again. I can be hurt, but not in this manner, ever again. Something precious died a slow and painful death that night. It took a long time to end it. But, end it I did. I am a child of God now.
Open your heart to God. Remember John 3:16, For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son so that whomsoever should believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life. Be as a child and listen to that little voice that speaks to you when all is quiet. You will hear him say, “Welcome Home, my child. I have missed you.” And I cried.
Ann, this essay was deeply touching. It broke my heart, and healed it again in an instant. Wonderful writing.
Peace.
Jean
Reviewed by LadyJtalks LadyJzTalkZone
7/22/2007
or just call a friend who understands. When after all the hurt and trouble is behind you one learns that it was never true, just a good excuse for their behavior. I marveled at some of the lame things used to try to put me down or give them an excuse to behave the way they did. Lady J
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You give someone your friendship. And then, after a while, you give him your love. You love him more and more every single day. You give him children and make a comfortable home for him to come to each night.
