This is about a young man Valliant at the grave of him dearest friend talking to the grounds keeper. The 1st and only person he's been able to talk to about her death, and the 1st time in months he's been able to face her grave.
My name is Valiant, I knew a girl once she was the most beautiful person I ever knew but this girl died. I can still remember the last thing we ever talked about, she was rite there and she shut me out and I couldn’t push any harder to save her. We were in the library on a Sunday; it stared of ok we just sat there doing a word search nothing new really. She was so weird I mean she just randomly stopped and looked at me, “hey” “hey” I kind of giggled she was just so weird yet she always kept me guessing. I couldn’t help but say something nice to her she looked so sad I could always see something in her eyes “I’m so glad I got a friend who’s a cloak and dagger friend”.
She gave me the weirdest look in the world so I decided to change the subject “well are ya still tired?” she laid back in the chair “very”. She kinda rolled her head back and sighed a bit “still sick” it was horrible to see her frown “well get better ok”. She of Corse laughed at me “I’ll try” “take some vitamin C, that always helps” “not me I have the worst immune system”. I had to go all smooth on her I sat up all straight “shame as how mine is superior than most” she stretched and her stomach showed “that’s good, wish mine was good, I hate being sick it’s like an emotional breakdown every time.” I had to say something so I did “you get sick when you have an emotional breakdown, you give your body excess stress you’re not used to it and your immune system is weekend because of it.”
She sat up and looked at me “meaning” “you shouldn’t let the little things bother you”, she kinda shifted in her chair and had this look it crushed my heart “well I’m not good at solving my own problems I kinda suppress all my feelings and when I’m sick I’m so drained I can’t suppress them anymore.” She buried her face in her hands, “why can you deal with them?” she came over and sat on the couch with me “I just can’t, you telling me this isn’t helping”. She looked at me like she wanted answers, at least that’s what I thought “I can’t help myself in this case no one can help me so I’ll continue to hide it” all I could do was shake my head “what do you want to do rite now” “help myself, but I won’t”. I grabbed her wrists “no you’ll do it” “no I wont” she pulled away from me, it was horrible “it’s a life skill you have to help yourself” she looked down and rubbed her arms “not if it threatens your life”.
I grabbed her cheeks and made her eyes meet mine “what’s threatening your life” “nothing” she answered so quickly it scared me. “What do you fear” she watched one of the last people leave the library “everything I can control” “why do you fear it”. She laid her head on my shoulder “I’m gonna mess up and hurt everyone and myself, they need to put me away and keep me there”. I couldn’t help but snap at her she just wouldn’t understand that she meant something to someone, she just snapped back “ im not worried about me im worried about the ones I hurt, I cant be this they need to put me away”.
I pulled her in front of me and looked back and forth between her broken eyes “don’t listen to this”. She looked straight into my eyes “im down listening to others I know what im capable of and I know what I have done, and I will push y away because you attempt to help me” “the only thing that’s gonna hurt anyone is your anger”. She grabbed hold of my shirt and gripped it tight “I can’t vent to those around me and I refuse to use the outlet I know”.
I held her hands and I gripped her hands tighter “hate me, I want you to hate me as much as you can, these feelings are superficial, you can control this”. She let go of me and laid back “I can’t and I won’t, the thing I’ve come to love and hate is bad and wrong, and I will lie and lie and lie more and more so those around me won’t have to iv under the dark cloud I keep from over your heads. I bear it alone and I will never let those I love have to see it” I had to admit that I was shocked and scared “let me bear some of your burden I’ve seen into this let me help you”.
She sat on her knees and stared rite into my soul “a glimpse, you will never live the hell I do I will not let you” “there are far worse things then hell, you have to let me in or it’ll be worse for us all”. “I will keep it till I die” she shrugged as if she already accepted she had no way out, “I will not let this hell of yours hurt anyone”. She laid her head back on the arm rest and closed her eyes “it wont hurt you either I wont let it I’ve been bearing this far before I met you and I seem happy”. I pulled her to face mine “you don’t always have this look in your eyes” “I won’t let you in”. I had to help her she had given it all up “I won’t condemn you to this hell I face and this life I wish to end”.
I couldn’t help but know she wasn’t lying at all she wanted to end it all “don’t end it you are a good person” “I will not end it”. She confused me so badly I didn’t know which way was up “condemn me we can conquer this hell together”. She stood in front of me and leaned down on my knees “I didn’t ask you to help”, I grabbed her wrists “you live in a hell and I want to give you an escape”. She collapsed onto her knees “I love my friends over me and I won’t let you” “you’re just scared” “im afraid of what I will do to you and what I will do to me I will not let you”.
She gripped my knees so tightly it hurt “im not afraid of you we have a bond and that will protect us” she fell limp and fell back on her feet “im afraid of me and I will not put you through what I am capable of, help someone else, for I will not hurt you I can not bring myself too”. I leaned forward to her “I want to protect you, let me protect you” “I will not let you in” I pulled her onto the couch with me and held her still ifront of me “you will cause me more pan if you don’t let me help you”. She moved forward closer to my face “I’d rather cause you pain that will fade then scar you for life”, “im not afraid, let me help you”. She pulled away from me it just about ripped my heart out “I won’t change my mind”, “you cant hurt me”, she stood up and looked at me “your rite I cant hurt you if I don’t let you in therefore I wont”.
I sat there stunned and she was walking away “hurt me then” she turned back to look at me “I wont and I cant and I have to leave now”. She was leaving me and there was nothing I could do “we’ll talk tomorrow then” “maybe” I ran after her grabbed her arm and turned her around to face me “just please remember someone cares about you”. She was gone that’s the last thing I said to her, the last thing, the next day was the worst it started off as a good day. She didn’t show up so I figured she was just home sick I mean she really was sick but her brother looked horrible, his hair was all messy none of his cloths matched and his eyes were all red.
I didn’t realize anything was really wrong until all our friends started to cry, it was the worst thing I had ever herd just the screams. Then he walked up to me carrying a note, it had my name on it, I read it out loud, I had to I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. I stuttered and slipped through it “I’m sorry you all loved me but I couldn’t stand it any longer, life was terrible and nothing you’ve done has brought me to this. To settle your minds I loved you all so much and I’d never trade you for anything not even a second chance at life. I will miss you all you are my family at least the most stable family I have again more settling news, I did rethink it over and over again, yes I was completely sober and no one saw me die.
I know my family found me and I invite all of you to be the happiest you can be at my wake, yes a wake that’s what I want don’t let my parents change that and to Valiant you have to tell them that you were the last thing I thought about before I died , I replayed that conversation over and over again and I don’t know if it worked but I wanted my last words to be just remember someone cares about you because I know its hard to accept but you did save me. This way I can be numb and keep my cloud from all of you, you saved me and I want you to tell them all about what I said.
Tell them what happened I want them to know at least part of why I did this, please I love you all so much and Valiant I need you to save me once more just help them to realize what I went through you were the only one who truly saw into my soul and help them all cope with the pain I caused and the easy way out I took. I love you so much and I know you all love me, your last words to me meant nothing I know that you loved me and still do and that is the last word I choose to hear from all of you.”
I fell to my knees and cried I couldn’t stand knowing she was never coming back, that I’d never talk to her again I cried like I never want to cry like that again. I didn’t go to her funeral I couldn’t do it I went to the viewing but her mom only looked at me with tears in her eyes, she looked so much like her mother I didn’t want to see her cry anymore. I saw her laying there she didn’t even look right, I never wanted to see her not smile, it was so wrong her not laughing or not brightening your day I couldn’t bear to see them put her in the ground, she’d be so scared and so alone, I couldn’t face it.
Weeks went by and months went by and I haven’t been able to face her till now, she means so much to me and I cant forget her, I guess in that respect she was right by letting me in she did scar me for life. I know you really don’t want to hear about another grave you have to clean but she was special she made everyone love her and I know its not interesting to hear me talk about her. But that’s the one thing I will always hold on to I don’t think I’ll ever forget, Her last words.
The second book in the Megan Martin series takes Megan, her best friend May, and now the nosy neighbor girl, Brianna, on adventures through a haunted house.
Selkie's lonely heart has finally found a home with Aidan. But sometimes destiny compels us to love, and sometimes it forbids us...suspenseful, romantic, and spellbinding.
