Do you ever see a dog carry a mouth full of good across the room and spit it out and then eat it one piece at a time? Let' let Phydoux tell us what's going on.
What will they ask next? I have an email asking why dogs eat the way they do? What do you expect – a knife and fork? I was specifically asked about what happens when we get a mouth full of dry dog food and walk across the room and spit it out on the floor and eat it one piece at a time. I don’t know what’s so strange about that.
First of all, you know when our food tastes good, we bolt it right there. Sometimes you even yell at us not to bolt our food. When it’s real food, it is so rare that we just can’t keep from eating it quickly. It’s the same reflexes that makes you eat ice cream too fast and get a brain freeze. It’s hard to slow down isn’t it?
When you give us that old dry food it becomes a chore to eat it. Why don’t you try one of those nasty things? Oh, I don’t believe it – one of the readers said he’s done that! In fact, why don’t you eat the whole thing and give us something that actually tastes good? Because it tastes so bad, we try to do everything we can to keep from eating it. We have to eat it because we are starving. By carrying it as far from the dish as we can, we actually delay the eating. It takes several minutes for the message from the stomach to reach the brain, so we’re trying to give it time. That’s the same reason you are told to eat slowly. I hope it works better for you than for us.
I remember getting a mouthful and walking over behind the sofa and depositing it on the floor and then counting out one piece at a time. Sometimes I like to use them like playing jacks but without bouncing the ball. Sometimes I try to imagine that I’ve just found some tasty food you have hidden from me. That usually doesn’t work.
I also remember one time I had a very full mouth of food. Half way across the floor my nose began to tickle and I sneezed. My master was very happy about having dog food sprayed all over the side of the sofa..
After eating it, I start back to the bowl with a prayer, “O God, (you know God is dog spelled backward, don’t you?) who changed water into wine, please change that nasty food into something that actually tastes good.” When I just about give up on God answering prayer, you miss your mouth with a big piece of steak and it falls in my dish. I roll over on my back with my paws in the air (that’s my very best posture for prayer which I learned from pentecostal dogs) and I say , “O thank you God. I was about to think you didn’t perform miracles for dogs any more.”
The only thing worse than having to go through this method of eating is when the food bowl is empty with nothing in it. This stuff tastes awful but it’s better than nothing. This method of eating is called “Doggy food to go.” If we have enough energy to run back and forth we are allowed to call it “fast food.”
The next time you see your dog slowly walking across the floor with a mouth full of dry dog food, why not do him a favor? Give him some real food. He will be so thankful that he will lick your face forever.
LOL, Phydoux rules! I love these, Larry, you must publish them. I GET FIRST COPY!!!! Okay, third: you the first, Phydoux the second, me the third. Deal?
Either someone had a real sense of humor or was dyslexic when they named a dog a dog...good boy, next time get to the steak while it is sitting on the plate waiting to go on the grill, that'll show em.
I roll over on my back with my paws in the air (that’s my very best posture for prayer which I learned from pentecostal dogs) and I say , “O thank you God."
Dogs are very religious! And as you say, God spelled backwards is Dog.
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