|
What do you suppose is man's one true reason for existence? His lifelong quest that even at the end leaves one guessing for the answers.
First, allow me to introduce myself, my name is Enri Re'Mark. A man much like any other in appearance. I am neither rich, nor am I poor, but lead a contented life of travel and exploration.
I came upon the aforementioned questions, or rather they came upon me as I sat in a cafe' just off the Indus River . The person asking the questions was a small rankle of a man, who, dressed in the usual dull, yet durable desert garb, looked to be at least ninety years old. His name I was soon to find out was Pan, and he had in his dark eyes that spark, that flash, as if lightning.
"Sir, do you ask of me what should be asked of the gods?” I replied factly.
Gods? Gods, gods, to what gods?” Pan almost shouted.
He seemed quite agigatated over my reply, so I changed my tact.
"Sir, I would point out to you that I ask the same questions of myself, but alas, have no answers."
At this he grew silent, perhaps thoughtful or even pity at my foolishness. At length he spoke again, slowly, softly, yet penetrating the twilight.
"Out in the vastness, far beyond the dunes, where the stars touch down melting in the dew. There they say are answers. There they say is meaning."
Bewildered, I knew not to believe or not. To take a chance and follow this odd fellow, if that was his meaning.
"Sir..."said I.
"My name is Pan...."
"Monsieur Pan...."
"No, just Pan, please."
"Very well, Pan. Would you have me traipse across that sullen hell of sand and sky with no more than a stranger? A stranger who might have other ideas."
"Ideas! Gods, ideas. Yes, I have ideas, but fear no harm from me or that I would deliver you unto such. But we must hurry for the veil of night is falling".
"A moment sir, if you please, perhaps two, before I hurry off on this quest of yours."
He nodded and sipped at his drink, which I admit as to not having seen him order, but truth, my mind was absorbed in turmoil of doubt and curiosity. In the end my questions called for answer so I heard myself saying...
"Yes, I will go with you. For it is twilight, and twilight is the time of change, and if truth changes a man as is said, then this endeavor should begin at this hour. But how and where do we travel?" "It has been arranged. The horses are nearby in a stable. We will travel East, then South. The stars will mark our way, but I cannot say where we travel to, for I do not even know."
Our journey was one continuous star gaze. A search of sands. We rode for two days passing a shrine of some sorts that Pan would not speak its name, but said it translated into "The Last Hope of Life".
For the most part of the journey Pan was silent, perhaps he, as I, was deep in self resolution. Our water jugs seemed to remain full, odd I thought, but again, I was but in a dream awake. When our journey came to the seventh day Pan spoke one word and that was "Here!"
"Pan, now that our journey has ended, tho' this spot is no different than any other, may I ask but one question?"
He looked at me as if he knew the question and therefore the answer.
"Before you ask of me what others before have asked, let me explain if I may? This spot, as you say, looks no different than any other patch of sand. Nor does the sky appear any different than it did a day ago, or two. For if we were searching for real estate or a star view, our quest would have ended long ago. But our search is for truth! The realization of our existence. This spot holds no value other than truth."
And with that he picked up a handful of sand and let it fall to the ground. He repeated this procedure two more times and then taking a fourth flung it to the ebbing sun. Suddenly it was dark and the stars were shining brighter than I have ever seen. Pan broke the silence.
"Here under the heaven's dome, here where no man will call home, this place is of Destiny, of Life, and of Truth."
"Do you mean that this desolate place is the answer? What we have traveled so far for? Sand and stars?"
I admit that I did not want it to come out sounding as abrupt as it did, but it was said. I tried to apologize but Pan would not have it and would just shoo it away as he muttered about "stars and sand”. The day were mostly slept through. Filled with dreams and visions that would leave me searching the surroundings for the answers. By the fifth day I was restless and I could not hold my questions back any longer.
"Pan, if I may be again so bold as to ask when we will have our answers? We have been in this inferno for near two weeks now and the only truth is that I am a fool for accompanying you on this trek?
Pan was silent, almost as if in a deep sleep. I was ready to inquire again when he opened his eyes and then turning to the East he spoke.
"Truth is in the sands and the stars. It is in all that is of quality, made from it even as we are. But this life has so many trappings, so many twists and turns that we lose sight of what is real or not. We lose understanding for the truth."
"Why, do you mean we have come this far for what could have been told over a cognac at the café?” I asked quite angrily.
"No, not for that little speech did we come so far, but for what will be before the night's end."
I slept, tho' I do not know how. My dreams were vague, as if only shadows. I was awakened by my companion, who seemed somewhat excited from his calm self.
"Hurry, we must be in our places at the proper time!” he exclaimed.
I dressed quickly asking questions as I did. But as usual Pan had no answers or he would not tell.
"You must follow me" he cried.
And with that we circled the encampment three times and then sat. Again Pan spoke.
"We have finished at our begin. Only the sands and the stars as witness. We have traveled the timeless, suffered as life will cause and now we wait at the gate, wanting nothing more but answers to our thoughts. Now Re'Mark, ask the stars before this hour fades as others have done."
The stars dimmed, and then brightened. Thee sands seemed to swirl and then only dark.
I woke tired. As if I had wandered the earth, the universe. I looked for Pan and found him exactly where he sat last night.
"Good morning Pan, or should I say day, for I have no sense of time."
"Nor of the day as it seems."
"My dear fellow, what do you mean?"
"You have been gone for three days and three nights. You, my friend Re'Mark, must have had a terrible number of questions. I hope you have your answers."
I was the silent one now. My thoughts whirled as the sands. I tried to think, to clear my head of this sleep, but could not. I held my tongue until the outline of the town appeared.
"Pan, I do not understand. I feel as though, well, I cannot remember!"
"What of your questions Re'Mark?"
"I cannot remember!"
"Then what of your dreams?"
"My dreams were fleeting with me in pursuit of them and yet I could not keep pace."
"So what is it that bothers you? That your answers are not in black and white. Why even I can perceive the meaning."
"What! Even you? Then say so I may know!"
"Why Re'Mark, it is plain to see, the meaning of life, is the pursuit of your dreams."
|
