“Running ain’t neva done nothin’ but make ya legs stronga. Love is what it is chile. Ya can’t hide from it, but sometimes da good Lord have ta let us run til we’s tired. And dare’s always a lesson to be learned. Maybe you’s got a lesson to learn. So… go on chile. When God gets ready for ya, He’ll bring ya back rather you like it or not. Everything has a purpose chile. Everything.”
Willie could hear Nana Fae’s words ringing in her ear as she sat across from Grant. A two hundred and thirty pound, six feet two inch, athletic frame, covered only in a pair of midnight blue, silk pajama pants. He sat there bare footed and bare chest with such smooth tan skin.
Grant was her best friend and she had convinced herself that what she had planned was not running… it was moving on.
“Sorry about that Lee-Lee. Tonia.”
Of course it was Tonia calling. Who else would it be? Though Grant dated numerous women, it was never at the same time. He was exclusive with his time. Tonia was the newest flavor for this year. The same as the rest; tall, slender, and shallow.
Lord, give me strength to do this.
“Okay Lee-Lee, let’s finish up.”
He was the most beautiful creature she’d ever seen and she loved him more than he’d ever realize. Even if he did know, he’d never love her back the same way. He couldn’t. He’d never make a real commitment, not to her, not to any woman.
“So, we got the spot, the caterer and the band. Now flowers? You wanna go with purple, pink or both with a sprinkle of white in there somewhere?”
The very thing that made her want to stay was the very reason why she had to get up out of Savannah. This was her home, filled with beautiful things. The water, the parks, the oaks, the view from the bridge at night, but with what she felt for beautiful Grant Jackson she had to either leave or tell him how she felt and telling him – that was not an option.
Oh Father please build me up, his scent is smothering my senses.
“Hello! Earth to Lee-Lee.”
Willie snapped out of her daze ready to answer his question. “I think maybe both with the white should be fine. Nana won’t care.” Willie’s tone was unusually low.
“You right. Grandma is way old school. ‘Don’t do nottin’ fancy fa me. I’m just thankful to be alive.’” Grant mimicked his grandmother. “She’ll probably pretend upset just like the years before.”
“Your grandmother is just happy that she’s able to still do for herself.”
“I know you right. - Aye, what’s up with you tonight? You seem kinda distant? Wanna talk about it?” Grant said, tapping Willie on the knee.
If only she could get her nerves to settle she could tell him what she came to say.
Just tell him girl.
Willie mentally scolded herself for even coming by instead of just going. Her intention was to come tell Grant her news and then get straight on the highway. She’d forgotten all about Nana’s 80th birthday celebration. They planned it together every year since her 75th.
“I was just about to call you. You just in time to start planning.” She wanted to object, stand strong and not look into those hazel eyes and forget her name.
“I,” Willie cleared her throat, “I do need to tell you something Grant. I came over to tell you something,” she stammered.
Grant moved from his favorite black leather recliner – a birthday present from Willie - to take a seat next to her on the love seat. This was not going to go well.
I just need to breathe and say it.
Willie breathed deep. She didn’t want to leave him, but she had to. Willie could no longer stand around while he dated every female but her. She was the one to find ways to cheer him up after his teams had lost games by one or two points. She was the only one to stand behind him when he decided not to play pro basketball. It didn’t matter to her if he played basketball or if he pushed a broom. She was the one who actually loved his tall, sexy behind.
Arghhh! It frustrated her that none of that mattered. He was oblivious to the obvious. Besides, Grant wasn’t attracted her.
His monthly escapades were like a pinching to her nerves. Twelve years worth of stories had been enough. Some might not think it realistic that she stuck this long, but they had history and he’d only needed a little more time or so she’d thought.
What Willie felt for Grant was way pass a middle school crush and she was tired. Truth be told, she’d been tired, but had yet clung to that hope that one day Grant would forget about what his mom had done and settle down – with her one day. They were still young but that didn’t matter. They had more years under their belt than any married couples they knew had before they were married.
His eyes were glued to her. He hesitated for a few seconds before speaking.
“What’s wrong?”
She swallowed hard, consciously building courage. How was she going to go through with this?
You have to do this or else you’ll always be in the back seat. The third -leg.
Willie felt her eyes stinging. She couldn’t break down, not now.
“Willie, are you going to tell me what’s going on or what? And, why do you look like you’re going to cry?”
Grant remembered owning many tear stained shirts from Willie crying on his shoulder over the years, but she now seemed so distant.
“You know every time I see tears I think of when Michael Burgess broke up with you in tenth grade,” He tried at humor. It was met with an empty stare.
What was up with her and why didn’t she want to tell him? That was a first. Had something happened that she was afraid to tell him? She knew that he would go to extreme measures to keep her safe, and he had. Michael Burgess’ broken jaw was only a minor thing compared to what he was capable of. He, on purpose had all the boys afraid to approach her. She was a precious treasure for sure.
She stood by him through sprained ankles and temper tantrums that came as a result of not being able to play in the games. She had put up with all his many girlfriends that she’d flat out tell him were superficial broads.
Grant felt a giggle rising and thought better of letting it escape.
His friend was holding something in and it was serious. It had to be.
Ever since they were young, her crying sent his heart into frenzy. He loved this woman sometimes more than he loved himself. He wanted to kiss the wetness away, but Grant was careful to maintain his brotherly manner. For one, he could never give her all she deserved in a man. He had done good being consistent as her friend for all this time. Most women he didn’t trust. Willie had been different. She was there when the drama had begun and instead of trying to fix it or convince him that everything would be alright, she was just there. No talking. No joking. Just there.
“Grant, I’m – I’m leaving.”
“Why? We haven’t finished the party plans.”
“I know. And I’m sorry.”
He watched her stand up. She grabbed her baby blue windbreaker from the arm of the chair. Where was she going? They weren’t finished. He couldn’t let her leave all emotional.
“Lee-Lee, don’t you want to tell me what you came to say first?”
“I – I just did Grant.”
No more second and third guessing.
She had to go. He was living his life it was time for her to have one too.
Willie was turning twenty-two in two weeks and she deserved one. Now that she had her degree, she would go off and make it happen. She could manage without him – she had to.
“Grant- I’m leaving… for good,” she saw the shock in his eyes as her words registered.
“Lee-Lee, what are you talking about? What you mean you leaving for good?” He had heard her, but his confusion was evident. “What you saying? – Willie!”
Willie walked toward the door. She felt Grant’s hand on her forearm. She looked back to speak again but the tears were choking her. She tugged her arm loose and bolted for the door and out to the street where she’d parked.
Willie got to her car. She heard him yelling her name but she wasn’t turning back. As she pulled from the curb in front of his door she could still hear him calling.
I’m doing the right thing, I know I am.
Grant had no clue what was going on. All he knew was that another woman that he loved and trusted had just gotten in a car a drove off; away from him.
