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Erin A Collins

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The Perfect Part
by Erin A Collins
Sunday, August 17, 2008

Rated "PG" by the Author.

       
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     A Prompt Story

 

 

 

The casting call went on unendingly.  No one was right for the character of Pierre, the sexy, dark, vampire in my play.

 

The first man was too fat. His bulging frame, a mockery to the character I was trying to present to the audience, disgraced the role.

 

The second man had been too old. No, no. Pierre had to possess an eternal youth

 

The third one had been too feminine. Pierre was every woman’s dream and every man’s nightmare, so this one was out.

 

The day went on relentlessly, actor after actor, some emoting so badly, that I had to stop them in the middle of their audition. Others who came had the acting ability, but their looks were just not right.

 

It was 10PM already. I had decided to call it a night. I told everyone to just go home, and be back for auditions by 10:00 AM the next morning.

 

I was alone now on the stage, wondering if the perfect man would ever cross my path. I started to head backstage to turn off the lights, when I heard his voice. Even now, before I could even see him, I knew that voice was right. I wondered if he looked the part too.

 

As I turned around, all I could do was stare. He seemed out of place, as if he did not belong in the twenty first century. His demeanor, slow, seductive; deliberate. His voice, hypnotic.

 

He introduced himself. “I am Jacque Elongee. Has the part of Pierre been taken, mademoiselle?”

 

“N…no, it hasn’t yet.” I didn’t want to seem too anxious to snag him for the part, so I asked, “Is there any way you could come back in the morning, Mr. Elongee? We will be having more auditions then.”

 

“I am unable to return in the morning. I have….ah….other commitments. It must be tonight.”

 

“Very well, then. You may take a few moments to study your lines on page seventeen, then begin when you are ready.”

 

His movements were fluid, sultry. He held my attention well. As he came to the part where he was to bite his victim, my own head went back sub-consciously, awaiting the thrilling bite, the kiss of death, exquisite, painful.

 

I didn’t wait long.

                                               

With seductive intention, he took me in his arms, holding me with his hypnotic stare.

Then, it happened. He was definitely Pierre.

 

Now, my play will run forever.

 

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Reviewed by Lane Diamond 8/29/2008
Flash fiction is a very tough genre. It's so difficult to create a satisfying story with so few words, but you did a good job with this one. You have just a few minor grammatical issues, I think, but otherwise nicely done. -- Dave Lane
Reviewed by Micki Peluso 8/21/2008
Great short short story!! I love writing from prompts and you did a good job with this one. Wonderful imagery and descriptions, then a fast, racy twist ending!! It doesn't get much better than this.
Regards,

Micki Peluso, author of . . .AND THE WHIPPOORWILL SANG

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