Becoming Physically Fit, Again
Toni D. Helfrick
Yes, it’s been years. I’ve neglected that poor, pathetic body for a long time,
concerned with other more “vital things” such as raising children, working, cleaning, balancing the checkbook, entertaining, and etc. As I exited the shower one morning, I caught a glimpse in the mirror of what appeared to be the poster child for “Save the Whales”.
“Yuck ”, I managed to utter, and said out loud, ”What sadistic prior owner of this home installed a full length mirror in the bathroom?” “Well,” I thought, “It doesn’t really matter. The mirror goes .” The cellulite, varicose veins, wrinkles and things that are starting to, well, “sag” a bit, and the sight of it was enough to make me toss my cookies. Time to DO SOMETHING. But, what?
No, not running, I have a bad knee. Walking? About as exciting as watching the grass grow. Aerobics? Oh, it’s great, but it’s about five miles away. Diet? That’s a four letter word !
Actually, my husband had the idea. He had bought a bicycle for me about a year ago, and somehow I always had one excuse or another why I didn’t have time to use it. I thought, “Well, someday, I’ll take a ride,” but , I eventually covered up the “thing” that gave me all the heartburn, with a large old tarpaulin. Handy things, those tarps.
“Hey, what is that?” my husband asked. He’s a little too inquisitive for his own good. “It’s my bike, and I don’t want any dust on it”, I said with conviction. He looked amused, but said nothing, and we had a “quiet dinner” together.
Well, three days later, my husband, Al, up bright and early, said,
“Come on, let’s go for a ride.” He has been continually talking about the exercise, telling me just how good it is for relief of tension to ride. He’s a long distance cyclist with more endurance in his little finger, than I possess in toto. Well, the day of reckoning was here.
After a brief lesson on how to use a 12 speed, ( I haven’t been on a bike in years, and my only speeds lately are SLOW and REVERSE) I started out with him on a journey that would change my life. If not, it would surely END!
The first few pedals seemed like a piece of cake. “Hey, this is a cinch, “ I thought, until we came to the first hill. “Oy vay!”, I said, as my legs went on strike, and I could see the little placards saying, “Unfair Working Conditions”
and “Same Pay for More Work”. I was sure that ALL my neighbors must be grinning at their windows. I then gritted my teeth, and pedalled hard, and I
made it to the top!! Oh, I was quite pleased, but then...
Then came the terror of the downside ! Al was with me all the way,
giving me some instructions about which gear I should be in. By the way, how does one change gears when their fingers are buried, white-
knuckled, into the handlebars? Anyway, most of his instructions were for naught, since I couldn’t hear him.
My brakes had decided, in protest for putting up with an old, novice cyclist, to make a loud squeaking sound. Another embarrassment!
Then, of course, there were a few amused faces watching me negotiate a turn or a storm sewer, in sheer terror, from those passing by in cars and pick-ups. I saw their grins.
“Yes, you laughing fools, as a middle aged person, I am trying to relearn riding a bicycle. I hope they all have lard in their rear-ends from riding, and I hope their dog gets carsick on the way to where they’re going, and they can’t get the window down in time ”
Well, I made it. Five miles and still alive. Actually it felt good to get some of the first exercise I’ve had in a long time. That first trip required four or five stops for me to catch my breath. The next time out, I only needed three, and today, two. With a sedentary job, I need the exercise badly, unless I want to reach old age looking like an isosceles triangle.
Oddly enough, my legs don’t hurt. What does hurt is the part that sits on the seat. Have you looked at bicycle seats lately? They are not made for comfort as they were in the fifties or sixties. They must have been designed by the same sadist who put up my bathroom mirror, and who likely also invented thumb screws.
I’ve managed to lower my heart rate from the 140's to the 90's at the peak of exercise, in just a few days. I look forward to going out every day, and gradually increasing the amount of miles I can go... without having to check the obituary column for my name.
The little blue lines on my legs won’t go away, but I intend that the flab will. Yes, Rand Mc Nally, you may rejoice. The little red and blue lines on my legs will always resemble one of your road maps, but,
perhaps in a short while, without the topographical cellulite hills and valleys.
Small consolation, but at least my derriere and legs don’t have little dots on them that say “Newark” or “Paterson”, and the little red lines are not labelled, “Passaic River”. I guess, at my age, I should be thankful for the little things...
TIPS FOR BICYCLING
Ride at a comfortable pace for you..
Dieting alone doesn’t help. At 15 mph, one hour/day, burns 4000 calories/week (equivalent to 1 lb. Fat. )Eat enough carbohydrates to fuel your daily ride
this will maintain your muscle mass while losing fat.
Out with the Bike ??
