How can we cope with Christmas better.

COPING WITH CHRISTMAS

Christmas is a happy time of year for most people. But there are many who experience what is commonly known as the holiday blues. Is this something that is real or is it a figment of imagination, as in Scrooge's interpretation of Jacob Marley's ghost?

Holiday blues are not imagined. There are inherent stressors that contribute to this time of year being so difficult for many people. They can be broken down into three areas: Biological, Economical, and Psychological.

Biological causes relate to the tendency that people have to overeat, consume more alcohol, and get too little rest.

The economic phase of this problem sees many people for various reasons unable to meet the financial demands that this huge holiday places on their budget. People have problems deciding when enough is enough. There is a search for the perfect Christmas brought to you my Mr. Plastic, the credit card.

Psychologial stressors also are a major concern. Some have experienced a recent death of a loved one and become very sad at this time of year. Others have unmet dependency needs or feelings that someone is trying to buy love with gifts.

Also, many of us have problems with expectations around Christmas time. The media paints up the ideal Christmas in ads, movies and offer us other subliminal messages. Many have personal memories of Christmas's past that have become enshirned. Some seek the perfect Christmas as the Waltons portray. Songs such as I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas makes people look through idealistic eyes. We have trouble living the real versus the unreal life, since, for example most of us never experienced a white Christmas.

What changes do we need to make in order for a happier Christmas to take place?

We can decide to continue with an old tradition or start new ones. Also, the gift of Christmas Present can be given. Many times we see people that are always saying that this holiday in years past was so great and we seem to worship Christmases Past. Some suggestions to help with this are:

1) Tell ourselves that we can change
2) Quit saying things would only be better if only...
3) Quit saying things will never be as good as they used to be


If we don't want the grinch to really steal Christmas, then we must stop making excuses and celebrate this holiday. A clear definition of what Christmas is should be at the top of the list. Some other actions that we can take to make a more joyful occasion are:

1) Work on your attitude and drink in thte moment
2) Create new expectations realistically
3) Refuse to allow yourself to be lonely
4) Ignore attitudes that you find objectionable
5) Help someone who is worse off than you
6) Alert yourself to self-defeating habits, such as drinking, drugs or too much smoking
7) Provide time for family and loved ones
8) Decide whether to spend time at parties and leave without feeling guility
9) Remember in the winter months that the days are shorter and don't over do ourselves until we don't get the proper rest

Some gifts we can give this Christmas are: Acceptance of everyone as a valuable human being, loving people for who they are, not because of how they can please us but, showing others how to enjoy Christmas Present, avoiding dishonesty, and labeling people and start realizing that failing is necessary to grow, and above all else counting your blessings.

If you find that you have a strained or severed relationship with a loved one, take the initiatiave and call that person to tell them that you want to resume the relationship. If you are hurt about something emotionally that involves someone else, simply tell them you want to see them. Take this time to express those feelings in a loving, compassisonate way. These are the gifts that money can not buy.

Take some time at Christmas to revisit memories of people that have been close to you that have died. These are precious memories. It is okay to even perhaps remember them at your special Christmas gatherings in a formal way.

Someone told me the other day that they thought it was hypocritical to be nice and happy at Christmas only. Well, I agree with this. But certainly it doesn't have to be that way. Things can be done to change the state of dissatisfaction that we find ourselves in. Michael Jackson had a song out a few years ago "Man in the Mirror", which tells us that he has decided to change with the man in the mirror. We can change our world and it starts with one person. Will that person be you?

God Bless and Merry Christmas.