(The above picture taken by myself is that of the Auchumpkee Creek Bridge located about 11 miles South of Thomaston, Georgia.)
FASCINATION OR LOVE
Romantic love as we know it, presents itself with intense longings to be with that person that we feel such chemistry for. Here are a few of the characteristics that many of us have when we feel we are in love:
1) an intense longing to be with them while apart
2) ruminating about them constantly
3) feeling highs when in their presence
4) the excitement of the impending meeting with them
5) heart beating wildly when awaiting their arrival and after joining them
6) calling their name in our sleep
7) dreaming about them
8) giving off the “in love” glow that many outsiders recognize
9) crying when you leave them
10) hugging your pillow, pretending it is them when sleeping
Fascination has many of the same characteristics. But usually, we think of fascination as a passing thing. Many times when you have these feelings they can be neutralized quickly when you meet someone else that you feel a little chemistry for.
It is very hard to separate the two especially when the kissing takes place. The kissing seems to confuse us even more and then if you have sex with them, this act will really confuse you. And it is no wonder because this is the closest we can be with someone when we have sex with them.
It doesn’t make it any easier if the person is warm, friendly, attractive, and can kiss good. Heaven forbid if they appear to be having special feelings towards you when the kissing and sex starts. If by chance they tell you that they are developing special feelings for you and at the same time display that soft, sullen, star gazed, misty eyed look, and then tell you that they are having a hard time being away from you, then watch out. It is at this time that I think a person even if they haven’t recognized any special feelings for someone, will start feeling a little more chemistry.
It has been said many times that we need someone of the opposite sex to complete us. I believe that is true . We all need someone physically, sexually, emotionally to look us in the eyes and say I love you, I want you, and I can’t live without you.
So, we can see a real confusing pattern develop when we explore being fascinated or in love with someone. Many times fascination ends almost as quickly as it begins. Especially as we get to know the person a little better. We may find some things in this person that we really don’t like. For instance, it could be a hint of self love, poor hygiene, things you don’t have in common, education, sense of entitlement, or other things that just might turn you off.
On the other hand, people have been known to move so quickly from fascination to love, that they didn’t enough time to recognize the above. When they did find out about them later, they were in a quandary as what to do because of feeling they felt in love with the person. Many marriages got started this way only to either end in divorce quickly or for the two people to spend their lives together miserable.
In the 1988 movie, Fresh Horses with Andrew McCarthy and Molly Ringwald, the character Andrew plays, Matt Larkin is a college senior who comes from a privileged upper class scenario while Molly, who plays Jewell, is a southern girl, uneducated and found to be married. Matt and Jewell have instant attraction. In fact Matt, breaks off an engagement with his rich fiancée for Jewell. Long story short, the affair fizzled fairly quickly. It was probably more sexual than anything. Matt sees the tremendous differences in him and Jewell and sees the relationship for what it really is. Molly lies about her age to start with saying she is 20 but then comes clean and states she is 16. At the end, you feel Matt has a genuine caring for her. He was confused initially about his feelings for her. It appears that he had problems with being fascinated with Jewell and at times feeling he loved her. It has happened to us all.
Thanks for a most interesting read tonight.
Susan