Ways to have a Merrier Christmas are explored.

(Published in the Upson Home Journal-December 5, 1989)





KEEPING IN TOUCH
By Aubrey Hammack


TIPS FOR A MERRIER CHRISTMAS




This time of year ushers in our biggest holiday, Christmas. We are all aware that is a traditional family affair to most people. Most families, over the years, have placed a tremendous amount of emphasis here. Numerous get-to-gathers have become almost an institution within themselves. So with so much attention given by families to this holiday, there is no wonder that the added strains and pressures cause some problems. Most of us want this season to be special. We romanticize the season and often have unrealistic expectations and when these are not realized a tremendous lowdown feeling is experienced. The season many times is stressful because of the frantic pace that we put ourselves through. This, in addition to parties, longer work days and less daylight because of winter itself causes many of us to be more lethargic and tired with less energy, easier to be upset and feeling not well physically.

The death of a loved one makes it more difficult for many people. Our skies become cloudy because of getting in touch with a loss at this special time of the year. The first Christmas that we spend after the death of a loved one is especially hard. We do have to make adjustments.

Sometimes many of us distort what reality has been in the past. We might remember Christmases that never were. Some of us live with a sour, depressing remembrance of past Christmases. We might have had one bad one or they might have all been bad; and some of us feel it is our appointed duty to relive them. This will always screw up Christmas present. Therapy may be needed here to help this person resolve some of these bad memories and move on with our lives.

There are some actions that we can take to help with these problems. First, we need to give ourselves the gift of Christmas “Present”. That is, we must decide that we are going to take this holiday and make it a good one. It doesn’t matter that we’ve had bad ones before and we all have. This is a brand new opportunity for us to have a good one.

Some factors that hinder us from doing this are: We tell ourselves that I can’t help the way I am; it has always been this way and it is too late to change; things would be better only if; things will never be as good as they used to be.

The things that we can do in order to have a merrier Christmas are: work on your attitude, be positive, take in the moment, refuse to be lonely, count your blessings, practice ignoring attitudes and behaviors that you find objectionable, try to change your expectations, create new ones, don’t go into this holiday expecting the worst or you will probably experience it,. make a list of things you dislike about the holidays and see how easy it is to rid yourself of these, provide time with family and loved ones, read Bible passages, give thanks, share with each person how you feel about them, give lots of hugs, kisses, and hold hands, decide whether or not to attend parties and, when you want to, leave without feeling guilty.

There are some gifts also that we can give that do no involve money. They are the priceless ones: accepting everyone as a valuable human being, showing by example, realizing that failing is not all right but sometimes it is necessary to grow, avoiding labels and stereotypes, welcoming the unknown, avoiding dishonesty, teaching responsibility for all life and being fully alive.

We also need to try to get some of the focus off of ourselves. One easy way to do this is to find a person or family member that we really would like to do something special for. This could be buying gifts, doing chores for them, taking them somewhere for a special event, taking them to lunch, baking a pie or cake for them, giving them money or doing any of a number of other things.

Within all of us is the power to create Merrier Christmases if we choose. I’m hoping that you choose, as I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Everybody.