Stressors that are a part of the holidays.
Holiday Blues and What to Do About Them
By Aubrey Hammack
Christmas is meant to be a joyous time of year. But there are many that don’t find themselves joyful as this season arrives. In fact many people during this great season experience what is commonly known as the holiday blues.
Is this something that is real or is it a figment of imagination, as in Scrooge’s interpretation of Jacob Marley’s ghost? Holiday blues are not imagined. There are inherent stressors that contribute to this time being so difficult for so many people.
These stressors can be broken down into four areas: Biologic, Economic, Psychological and Post Holiday Blues.
Biologic causes relate to overeating, consuming more alcohol than usual, and getting to little rest. This group contains of course those that have already been diagnosed with Alcohol Dependence.
Economic causes relate to the lack of implementing a budget. It is wise to consider how much you have to spend and stick with this decision. In large families drawing names might be a solution to cut down on expenses. Self-made gifts might be considered. Give one gift per family might be the answer. Don’t forget also that the job of giving means simply that you don’t have to expect anything in return.
Psychological stressors can relate to the death of loved ones, which more specifically relates at times to anniversary dates of those who have died. That empty seat at the table over the holidays, that person missing from other holiday functions when everyone was together. Others have unrealistic expectations of that perfect Christmas. Some grieve happier times of Christmases past, while others grieve thier lost past when they were younger. Then many Christmas songs make us sad singing about Blue Christmas, I'll be Home for Christmas, and White Christmas to name a few.
As you can see, the psychological areas alone can be very hard to deal with. Post Holiday Blues: Many become very sad after the holidays. The taking down of the tree many times signals the beginning of this sadness. How can we make things less depressing?
Listed below are some suggestions for dealing with the holiday blues in general.
1) Don’t get caught up in over idealizing the season. Don’t expect things to be perfect like family life was portrayed on the “Waltons” or “ Ozzie and Harriet.” Keep expectations for Christmas manageable by not trying to make the holiday the best ever. Organize your time. Make a list and prioritize the most important activities. Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Do not spend too much time preparing for just one day. Don’t be too seduced by the countless advertisements featuring the ideal Christmas. Don’t become too discouraged when our experiences are not like the commercials. Rarely are they. Remember that the holiday season does not automatically banish reasons for feeling sad or lonely. There is room for these feelings to be present. It is okay to think about the past and how things used to be. But remember, paying a visit to these memories is find, but make it a short one.
2) Plan the main meal ahead of time and if you need help ask people what they would like to bring. A lot of families enjoy bringing their specialties.
3) If there is a family member that usually becomes disruptive at these gatherings, talk to them about this and ask for a commitment to refrain from this type of behavior. Don’t expect for things to be peaches and cream with that family member that you have quarreled with 11 months of the year. You might consider going to someone in the family that you have problems with and tell them you are sorry for any part you have played in family discord and that if you have hurt them in way you are sorry and to please forgive you. It will be real hard for most people not to accept that kind of an apology.
4) For Christmas, give ourselves the gift of Christmas Present. That is, we must decide to live in the present and take this day and make it a good one. It doesn’t matter that we’ve had bad ones before and most of us have. This is a brand new opportunity for us to have a good one.
5) Implement a budget. Remember we will have to repay any bills that we make. Be realistic as to how much money you have to spend.
6) Get the proper amount of rest and exercise. Remember schedules will be more hectic, and we have less day light in the winter months.
7) Give lots of support to those who have lost loved ones at this time of year. They need to be handled with special love and understanding. Remember the seriously ill. They all have special concerns during the holidays especially as they as they think about what the future holds. Caregivers and their demands will increase this time of year. They may need more assistance than usual. Please don’t forget about them.
8) Ask yourself what is it that is being celebrated. If it is a Christian holiday, then put some emphasis on that.
9) Watch children at Christmas. Catch the excitement from them. Let your child out for the holidays.
10) Put more emphasis on doing things for people. A lot of gifts can be given that do no cost money. Making a special gift or doing something for someone many times is a way to really catch the spirit.
11) If you have an eating disorder, or drug and alcohol problem, keep in mind you are more at risk this time of year. There will be parties with lots of food and alcohol being served. Don’t go to these or leave early if you feel the temptation is to great. Don’t drink too much. Excessive drinking will only make you more depressed.
12) For those who are alone, make contact with others and if you know someone like this encourage them to spend some time with you. Spend time with people who are supportive and care about you. Make new friends if you are alone during special times. Contact someone you have lost touch with.
13) Start a new tradition this Christmas. A few years ago at our house we started reading the Christmas story on Christmas night and saving some gifts to open then. Don’t be afraid to try something new. Celebrate the holidays in a way you have not done before.There are things that you can do at Christmas time that cost nothing. For example, looking at the Christmas lights in your hometown is usually a very enjoyable thing to do with family and friends. Go Window shopping or exploring stores but not to buy anything. There will be many concerts and parties that require only your presence. Many church advents are happening this time of year. Go to that Christmas movie that everyone is talking about. What better way to get you in the mood.
14) Young married couples frequently report extraordinary stress. Families many times are pulled deciding which family to spend time with on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. This can be a real juggling act. Husband and wife need to reach an agreement about how they will work out spending time with each family. Rotating these times might be the answer. But most important, be fair about what is decided about this.
15) Recent studies have shown that there are also environmental factors, which can contribute to feelings of depression around the holidays. Some people suffer from SADS (Seasonal Affective Disorder Syndrome). They can result from fewer hours of sunlight as the days grow shorter during the winter months. Researchers have found that phototherapy, a treatment involving a few hours of exposure to intense light, is effective in relieving depressive symptoms in patients with SADS. Some studies on the benefits of photo therapy found that exposure to early morning sunlight was effective in relieving seasonal depression. The most recent studies suggest however that patients respond equally well to phototherapy whether it is scheduled in the early morning or early afternoon.
Listed below are some suggestions for dealing with Post Holiday Blues:
Take up a new hobby for the cold winter months. For example, now might be the time to start a stamp or card collection.
Or you might want to consider that exercise program that you have been putting off for so long.
If you have winter sports in your town, think about attending hockey games or perhaps you could travel to the nearest town that has a team.
This might also be a good time to do some volunteer work for your church.
Consider taking that college course you’ve been thinking about for a while in photography or some other area of interest.
As you can see, there are many outlets that could be explored.Within all of us exists the power to change.
If we have talked about anything in this article it is change. If you want to have happier holidays as well as post holiday success but always come out with the blahs maybe it is time that you became proactive. It really is up to you. So stop complaining and act.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
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