Notice of an acclaimed writer reading from one of his books causes a small stir

It was a tiny notice, buried in the “literary events” portion of the St. Paul, Minnesota newspaper. Bill Bryson was to read from his book In a Sunburned Country at the St. Louis Park Community Library. It was peculiar that such a small notice would announce an outstanding event such as this, and extraordinary that the reading was to take place at a suburban library. His book Notes from a Small Island is captivating, and I’ve enjoyed his other work as well. If I were to attend one author reading in the calendar year, it would be this one.

The newspaper’s notice said the event was scheduled for 1:30 PM on a Thursday. I made arrangements to take the afternoon off from work, and set my plans. I ticked off a mental list of items to carry with me: cash for purchasing a personally autographed book, a camera (a fellow fan would, I’m sure, be willing to snap a photo of myself and Bill Bryson) and a copy of my own book (I might be able to persuade Mr. Bryson to scratch out a testimonial to the value of Full English Breakfast!). On the off chance that I should run into Mr. Bryson in the library’s parking lot before his reading I would surely want his autograph then and there. A quality black felt tip pen was essential, which I tucked in my shirt pocket next to a tin of Altoids.

The warm and humid April weather was more suited to shorts, T-shirt and sneakers, but when meeting a fellow travel author of such significance I was determined to make a sharp impression. Trousers, a button down shirt and black shoes were my articles of clothing — I looked damned dashing and important that afternoon.

The drive to St. Louis Park seemed surprisingly brief as I hummed absentmindedly to myself through the spring road construction. I missed the street to the library, but found that the next street down the thoroughfare worked just as well. Passing by a large, rusty Quonset hut, I wondered if this was the route that the famous author was traveling to go to his event and if he might have encountered a sinking feeling that this community’s library was possibly in a battered old metal building. I chuckled to myself and was of the opinion that this could be turned into a bit of opening small talk with Bill. We were on a first-name basis by this time in my thoughts.

The library beckoned ahead of me. It was definitely not a large building and the parking lot had more empty parking spaces than filled ones. I counted thirty vehicles in the lot. Thirty-one, including mine. I decided to scan the lot for Bill and if I didn’t see him, I’d go inside.

I didn’t see Bill, and I also noted the lack of festoons that might contribute to the afternoon’s festivities. Inside the library was an information desk, but without an information person to query. I turned to my right, spotted the returns desk, and told the lady there, “I’m here for the Bill Bryson reading.”

I received a blank stare in return.

“Is this the afternoon that Bill Bryson is going to read?” I asked hopefully.

“Umm…. I don’t know about that. You’ll have to check over there.” She gestured to the information desk. “Oh, she’s not there. Let me get her.”

A slight, bespectacled librarian arrived around the corner.

“Oh, there she is now.”

I posed my question: “Is this the afternoon that Bill Bryson is going to read here?”

“You’re the SECOND person to ask me that this afternoon!” she exclaimed, she then asked me where I had heard that news. I told her about the notice in the newspaper.

“Bill Bryson isn’t going to be here. Don’t you know… well, he’s a MAJOR author! If he was going to be here it would be a HUGE media happening!” Her head shook violently to the left and to the right, punctuating her words.

I took a step backward for safety’s sake. “I saw the notice.” I told her. “It was tiny, and I wondered about it, but the paper said he’d be reading from one of his books today.”

“I’m sorry, but he’s not here. I think we have another Bill Bryson event going on this afternoon, though.”

My heart leapt! What was she was about to tell me?

She led me to her desk and diligently sifted through a stack of flyers. “Oh, here it is. There’s a senior citizen discussion group about his book In a Sunburned Country this afternoon. The group is just about to start. You’re welcome to join them if you’d like.”

I begged off and said that I would be content to browse the library for a few minutes and maybe check out a few items.

“I’m really sorry,” said the librarian, “but if you need help finding anything just ask anyone. Maybe you should write an angry letter to the newspaper about this.”

“I’m certain that the paper said Bill Bryson would be here reading from a book, but I guess not.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It is funny that only one other person came here and asked about the reading.”

“Yes,” she said as we parted ways, “just ask anyone if you need help finding anything.”

***

For what it’s worth, this is the notice that appeared in the newspaper:

“BILL BRYSON: The travel writer and author reads from his book, ‘In a Sunburned Country.’ 1:30 p.m. Thursday, St. Louis Park Community Library, 3240 Library Lane, St. Louis Park, free (952) XXX-XXXX.”

Text © 2002 Todd Wisti


Todd Wisti’s book Full English Breakfast was published by iUniverse.com in 2001.