I just knew it was finally going to happen. A
publisher was interested in publishing my How to
Survive and Thrive After a Layoff manuscript. They
even told me that I would get a higher percentage of
the royalties if I did most of the marketing myself.
But there was only one problem. The manuscript was
too short to be a print book, so I began feverishly
working to expand the book. Upon completion, I
submitted it to the publisher. Several weeks later,
I got their answer no.
If you live on this planet and interact with other
humans, you are going to experience disappointment
at some point in your life. There’s no escaping it.
And since there is no escaping it, then the only
thing we can do is to learn how to handle
disappointment before it handles us.
The following are 7 actions steps you can take to
overcome disappointments:
1. Get in touch with your spiritual side. If
you don’t believe in God, then skip to number 2. I
usually avoid talking about God, because I don’t want
to offend anybody, but I couldn’t do this article
justice without talking about the Creator here.
There was a time in my life when I felt that if I
died, it would not have mattered to anyone on this
planet.
It was at that time that I deepened my spiritual
connection to the Almighty because I felt that He
was the only one who cared about me. Unfortunately,
the true God has been painted as cruel and ready to
zap us when we make a mistake. Nothing could be
further from the truth. I have come to think of Him
as a loving father who wants the best for us, and
who wants to comfort us when we’re hurt and
disappointed.
2. Fight feelings of self-pity. Feeling sorry
for yourself is a natural reaction to being
disappointed. However, if the self-pity is allowed
to go on too long, it can drag out for days, weeks
or even months. Think about all the projects you
could accomplish during that “lost” time. If you
must feel sorry for yourself, set a time limit.
Tell yourself you’re only going to indulge in
self-pity for 1 hour (or 1 day), and after that set
time frame is over, move on to more productive
pastures.
3. Start making new plans immediately. By
getting busy and focusing on other things, this will
help you tremendously in dealing with your pain.
4. Count your blessings. Focus on what you
have instead of what you do not have. By developing
a spirit of gratitude, it will help take the sting
out of your present circumstances.
5. Believe in yourself. This phrase has been
used so much that it’s almost a cliché, but believing
in yourself is the only way you can overcome
disappointments and reach your goals. What does it
mean to “believe in yourself”? It means having
confidence in your talents, skills, abilities, and
all your other attributes. It also means thinking
positively about yourself and believing that whatever
is thrown at you in life, you can overcome it.
One person that I think is the epitome of belief in
oneself is Mohammad Ali. First, let me say that I
am not a fan of boxing (I think it’s violent), but
I think that we can all learn from each other’s life
experiences. One night my husband and I watched
When We Were Kings, a documentary about the 1974
“Rumble in the Jungle” between Ali and George
Foreman. Nobody believed that Ali would win the
fight and regain his crown, not even people in his
own camp. He tried to rouse them up in his unique
talkative manner, but they were only half enthused.
Ali did not let that deter him. He believed in
himself. And, as you probably know, he won the
fight. This provides an important lesson for us.
It doesn’t matter if anybody else believes in us as
long as we believe in ourselves.
6. Realize right away that something greater
may be in store for you. Have you ever been
disappointed by not getting something, but six
months later you look back on it and was glad you
didn’t get it? That has happened to me more than
once. It’s easy to be glad that you didn’t get
something six months down the road. Next time when
you’re faced with a disappointment, try to
immediately think that something better or greater
is in store for you in the future.
7. Always have a contingency plan. Avoid
setting yourself up for disappointment by always
having a contingency plan. Always say, “If nothing
prevents, I will do this or that…” Yes, I was
disappointed that the publisher didn’t accept my
book, but I had a contingency plan. My husband and
I decided to self-publish it. (How to Survive and
Thrive After a Layoff - available soon at Amazon.com
and 1stBooks Library, ISBN #1-4033-9434-2 (Soft cover)
and ISBN #1-4033-9433-4 (Electronic))
Unless you go off on an island by yourself, you are
going to have to interact with other people, and
from that interaction comes the high probability
that someone will disappoint you. But by using the
seven steps outlined above, I hope it takes the
sting out of disappointments and you are helped to
recover more quickly.
Copyright 2003 Dolores G. Wix
