Men Ask What Women Are Looking For
Published in The London Free Press
Thursday, November 7, 2002

Dear Christine,

I’m fed up!

What are women looking for? I give and give, and all I get is dumped. Wine and dine without any expectations. Flowers and candy the day after a good date, even if I don’t get a kiss goodnight. A good listener, I truly care what a woman has to say. Many interests make me a fascinating conversationalist. If I do say so myself, I am an attractive man with a healthy physique and a solid career. Yet, I always seem to get dumped for some “dog” who uses women and drops them at the first sign of controversy or boredom.

I just wrote in to say, I give up! It’s time for me to change my ways. So if you ladies want to be used and abused, I’m your man.

NICE GUYS FINISH LAST - WOODSTOCK

Dear Nice Guy,

Please, don’t change! I am, and women like me are, looking for you. If you change now, how will we ever recognize you?

You may not be a “dog”, but it sounds like the one thing you are doing wrong is barking up all the wrong trees. This may be easier said than done; however, you need to look for nice girls to match your nice guy personality. Stay away from female dogs. You know who I mean: starts with a B.

Dear Christine,

All the women I’ve met recently are gold digging, self-serving dingbats that unnecessarily milk the welfare system to support their numerous children, who by the way usually all have different fathers.

Aren’t there any independent women in this day of so-called sexual equality?

I’m not just a wallet with a man attached!

KEVIN - MISSISSAUGA

Dear Kevin,

I can’t really say much to help you on this matter; except, stay home at the end of the month when the assistance cheques come out.

To the women that Kevin is speaking of, how dare you!

I am suppressing the urge to rant. Instead, I’ll simply say, It’s women like you who make life harder for our entire gender, not to mention the people who truly need financial assistance.

Sorry I can’t say more, but I have work to do!

Dear Christine,

I am a man in my early forties, recently divorced. Just reacquainting myself to the dating scene, I find this exaggerated talk about “safer sex” to be over-kill.

For eighteen years, I only slept with one woman. I am not a risk! In fact, if I hadn’t found out my wife was running around with one of my poker buddies, I’d still be married and monogamous.

Truly faithful, J. B. - LONDON

Dear J. B.,

Wow! Where do we start? Let’s start with your wife and the poker buddy. If she was unfaithful, then you were sharing your marital bed with more than just her. Think about it. And I can’t help quoting your use of the expression “overkill”. What can I say, except better overkill than your family standing “over” your grave.

Without lecturing, my best advice is for you to do some research. I spent hours online, trying to find the best website for you to view. My conclusion: type AIDS or HIV into your search engine, and the extensive reading will keep you off the dating circuit for quite a while and could just save your life. Or let your fingers (of your free hand) do the walking through the phone book. Until then, don’t leave the house, even for a loaf of bread, without a latex condom on!

Have a question, a thought, or a story to share (anonymity guaranteed), e-mail Christine at: single.keynotebooks.com

© Copyright 2002 by Christine West