"Children were to been seen and not heard" and my siblings and I respected that in my dad's house growing up. We all three rebelled later in life and often times blamed my dad for being so "tough" on us, but that was during the times when we ourselves were in pain.

People that are hurting cannot see other's hurting. They can only see and fixate on their own. My dad retired in the late 90's after working, going to night school and serving in two World Wars and it was after he retired that the choices he made in raising we kids bothered him immensely. The no more having to get up and going to work to provide with alot of time on his hands, punished his thoughts. Feelings of guilt and mistreatment literally ate at him. He developed an ulcer which led to cancer of the colon.

At that point and time in my life, all the things that he may or may not have done to myself as a child was totally forgiven. My dad let down his walls of tough love and showed the true man that he was inside. We had an incredible time together. I'd visit him every week and we'd sit and talk and there were no boundaries only great love between the two of us before he passed away. I am very grateful for that time together. I realized, as always, that he did the best he could with what he knew. And, that he was a human being that made mistakes, but adored his family and kids.

He was deeply admired. At his funeral service, the church was packed. The Navy did a 21 gun salute for him and his old college sent my Mom a candle that they had burnt in his honor.

We were the "Leave it to Beaver" family. Lived in nice homes, drove nice cars, had the best clothes and traveled alot. Everything looked normal on the outside, but there was always the emotional distance that was unspoken.

Each generation passes that on to the next one and the cycle continues until awareness, knowledge, daring to end it ..stops it.

That is what I would love to do and it is never too late.