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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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5th grade education and the weather?
by By George xx xx   
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Is this some form of NEW MATH?

Lately I’ve been finding the big problem with a 5th grade education is it’s been so long ago I just about forgot everything I learned. Spelling comes and goes, history has me living in the past but that’s fading, English is becoming a forgotten language, and math doesn’t add up anymore?

For instance…does anyone remember algebra?

I thought it was going to be fun subject cause it ended in “bra” but that’s about the last thing I understood and obviously there was no connection. The thing I learned most, right off the bat was I had no idea what was happening and never would? A+B=X…DUH! If you’re going to substitute letters for numbers why don’t you just use the number? And if it’s such a great idea why doesn’t everybody do it? Today is the X of Jan YZ+K. Anyway the point being I seem to have forgotten everything I didn’t learn back then. How I’ve survived so long without it is beyond me?

Does anybody remember algebra?

That is a bonifide question of distinct importance particularly in today’s changing world of computer wizardry and high-level geekisms.

Computer searches in hyperspace have become instantaneous to those who command the knowledge to proceed.

My searches are limited only by the time it takes me to search for each individual key on the unalphabeticalized board in front of me.

I am left to wonder…the numbers are consecutive in a nice tidy row, why are the letters scattered all over the place? I only have one finger!

Actually that’s not entirely true , I have recently become slightly ambidextrous which you may notice is a moocho superior word for a 5th grader, so I have progressed. My spellchecker tells me I am actually making up new words.

Recently I have become so proficient in my typing skills I often find myself needing to temporarily interrupt the two-finger speed typing and use one hand to grasp the chair to keep from falling out.

Forgive me for the prolonged rhetoric, it was not my intention at the onset…it just happened.
The reason for this writing is to ask a question about math, which I admittedly, have little knowledge.

Today I ventured to The Weather Channel to see how cold it is today without going outside. I love how we can do that.

Here is what it said…Presently 27 degrees…high 37…low 31.

Does anybody find anything wrong with that?

Cheers,
By George


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Reviewed by Jennifer Butler (Reader)
Reviewed on January 18, 2007
The only thing I remember about the fifth grade is that we had a very pretty teacher that year named Mrs. Wilson, who had poofy, blonde hair. That, and one day of a team choosing thing that happened.

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