Natural Gas is odorless…a fragrance I find unfound.
Doctor Swigmon Fwad, Kiwi
In reference to a previous piece on eggs, one or more, of you wrote to me expressing that when eggs turn rotten they tend to smell like rotten eggs, an odor I find distasteful and usually upsetting to my breakfast.
I must wonder why you informed me of this? You may have deep dark psychological problems that we need to talk about. Lets talk about them. Have your people ring up my people and while they are talking we can listen in and take notes. I think my people have problems too?
Have you ever experienced dementia? You may be demented? We also need to talk about that. Dementia may be temporary, whereas demented is forever.
I seem to have drifted from the topic, which I tend to do more often than not, a symptom of one of the ailments listed above even though I have no idea of what I’m talking about?
Ah Yes, rotten eggs…I smell one now.
You need not tell me eggs that are rotten smell like rotten eggs. What other odor would they have?
“Ah say, do you smell rotten pickles?”
“Why yes I do. My eggs must be rotten.”
Hold that thought. I know what you are thinking. Rotten eggs Do Not smell like natural gas. Natural Gas smells like rotten eggs.
Natural Gas is odorless…a fragrance I find unfound.
Rotten egg bouquet is added to the gas so that it may be Found if need be.
There are dangers however.
I am reminded of a previous visit to my neighbor who without my knowledge had just discovered the smell of rotten eggs, took it for a gas leak, and threatened me with bodily harm when I walked in smoking a pipe.
I immediately informed him there was no need for alarm as he had apparently mistaken the rotten egg smell for a gas leak that probably was caused by rotten eggs either in the garbage can or disposal.
We laughed it off and had a brandy or two and a few chips. As I was leaving his wife came down from up and said she needed a cup of tea.
As I walked home I realized it was not he who mistook the rotten egg smell for a gas leak, but I who mistook the gas leak for rotten eggs, as his house blew up behind me.
"The house blew up behind you."? I think I've seen that scene in a hundred action movies and counting. Only usually it's not natural gas that is the culprit. I am here now declaring through scientific evidence that it is clearly from farts (why won't my voice system understand the letter “f", always giving me yuck and part with unnecessary censorship). The kind of profuse indigestion caused by very serious confrontations where life is in danger and the last food you ate may come spilling out of your gut as they are shot through by military grade assault weapons. But somehow, you escape, leaving behind the product of your fear leading to the car, bus, truck, ship, building or city block blowing up in your wake.
And now, I know that it was you, bye George, that did it!
Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V
Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V is humorous adult literature featuring adult content and language. The work satirizes and spoofs thirteen classic tales from U.S. and British literature, a
The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.
And now, I know that it was you, bye George, that did it!
Ron