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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

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Sick Medical Procedures
by By George xx xx   
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Be glad you live today.

Doctor Swigmon Fwad, Kiwi
Sick Medical Procedures

Go to my Facebook page to view photos. By George

Be glad you live today.

I must say, I do not know how this happened but I was surfing when a thing popped up to view adds for various medical procedures that were seen as good things years ago. Naturally my professional curiosity prevented me from rejecting the impulse to proceed.
I thought it might be interesting so I clicked on it.

What a revolting development it was.
It said there were 60 photos of past practices, but I quit after a short few. There was a Facebook link, but I would Never subject my Friends to such barbarism that made Doctor Frankenstein look like a boy scout. More distressing is the fact they were real.
Particularly disturbing were the things done to children.
I was getting sick of seeing such things and quit after The Elephant Man, whom I’ve always looked upon sadly.

There was a lobotomy photo. Those things never turned out good. They were deemed psychosurgery, and required two psychos, the victim and the one doing the procedure. Today thankfully they are rarely done and restricted to dark dank back rooms by dark dank doctors, and they still don’t work.
Case in point, Professor Penwose’s Xwife Penelope. We’ve done seventeen frontal lobotomies on her as she was sleeping and she’s still a loony…and afraid to go to sleep.
Apparently everything we sever seems to grow back together.

I was able to find a bit of humor in the photo of the fellows with beaks. The humor is in how we see them now but not as they were when they were.

They were Plague Doctors…A feared sight as they went about tending to the dead. Their long beaks were filled with nice smelling things like flowers that overpowered the vile stenches that accompanied victims and were generally considered causes for the black death.
I’m sure George will include them in his Pimpernel remake in a humorous venue.

The amputation poster needs no explanation and solidifies the grotesque medical presumptions of previous predecessors.
Cocaine was a candy and readily available.
As stated previously, be glad you live today.

Swigmon out,
By George
NoPo8




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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on September 20, 2018
A totally serious article except for that brief reference to your loony ex-wife. ;-) Yes medical practice has improved a bit over its original torture. They say that George Washington was bled on his deathbed to "cure" him. I'm sure that the loss of blood hastened his demise.

Disease and lack of cleanliness probably attributed to unholy smells. I believe that to be the source of "bad humours" that resulted from the strange illnesses. Usually some sort of alchemy exorcism was required. Today basically, a burp or a good fart will do the job. No hocus-pocus required, but nose plugs would be a big help. I believe also that those damn humours are the source of all these ghosts people are smelling. But I always wonder why the white sheets are so clean?

Bye, Swigmon

Ron

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