Doctor Swigmon Fwad, Kiwi, will be convenient to control sanity.

Professor Penwose, Kiwi
Disclaimer

Good Evening,

You may be aware, or not, (in which case you have no idea what I’m talking about,) that George and I are gathering ideas, thoughts, scenarios, illusions, delusions, and innuendoes for a remake of
The Scarlet Pimpernel, entitled simply PIMPERNEL…
Rendered in humorous style sort of like a Monty Python thing only different.
Doctor Swigmon Fwad, Kiwi, will be convenient to control sanity.

There will be no reading! Captions will not be tolerated! One of my pet peeves is reading dialogue that is meant by its very definition to be spoken and understood. Anyone who does not understand the conversation will be asked to leave.

Parameters need to be set.
Monies will be discussed rarely and strictly coin of the realm since French Franks were a cruel hoax to those seeking weiners, and British pounds were much too heavy to carry around, besides the presiding peasants had none to speak of and those that did either had their heads chopped off or cowered in dungeons unanxiously waiting to lose theirs.
The Scarlet Pimpernel was within the crowd to see that they did not. A daring dashing rogue who stole his own show by rescuing French aristocrats from Madame Guillotine, just in the knick of time!

Linear measurements must be non-metric for a very good reason. If we were to say something was 100 meters away very few viewers would have a clue of the distance, whereas if we say 100 miles, everyone would know exactly how far down the road the subject was.

References to temperatures will also not be metric. A woman from Europe once asked me how hot it was. I told her 98 degrees. She asked if that was Fahrenheit or Celsius?
“Madame,” I remarked, “If it were Celsius we would all be dead.”
Obviously even those who use Celsius know nothing of them, so we will go with Fahrenheit.
We will also disavowal any knowledge not previously avowed.

The actors have yet to be named. I suppose we must go with whomever the casting agency sends us, however the agency itself has yet to be named, and that little detail falls with the producer who also has yet to be named, along with a sober director and a gainful crew. Once they are named production will begin and in essence history will be made all over again. To date that history is well into the future.

I suppose we should start writing the thing.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8