Egg experiment

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

Does anybody watch The Orville? It seems to be a good show, taking place 400 years into the future when folks turned stupid. They have no clue how we live? They don’t even know what a cell phone is. Can you imagine that? Somebody must have given them the spaceship cause they’re too dumb to build one. I’m glad I’ll be dead by then.

Speaking of dead, somebody threw a monkey wrench into my vital experiment. If you remember, and you should as I only told you a week ago, I have started a thirty-year egg experimentation to determine once and for all if eggs are safe to consume. To do this I eat two eggs every day. If after thirty years I am still alive eggs will be proven safe. If I am dead I won’t care.

I’ve just been informed chickens have been recalled.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!
I do not know why. Maybe it is something minor like they have pigs feet, or two heads.

I just ate a chicken!

It did not have pigs feet or two heads, but what if it had what was killing everything else, if that is the case.
I could be dead within a few days…or not.

Obviously I prefer the later because the former will completely screw up my egg thing. If I pass away because of a tainted chicken it will not prove eggs are bad, unless of course ITS eggs are bad, which really would not matter as I did not eat its eggs…I don’t think? But how do I really know? It could have laid the eggs right before they cut its head off. When you think about it, it’s really stupid to kill a chicken that still has eggs.
I also prefer smothered chickens which are more humane than chopping off their heads. But then again I scramble the eggs, which are in fact the chicken’s children, so what is humane about that? It all goes to caring, or not.

Lets wait a few days and see if I expire. If I do chickens are bad for you. If I don’t we’re bad for chickens.

I bought another chicken today. I don’t know what that proves?

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8