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Grasshopper Pizza
by By George xx xx   
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Good Pizza!

Professor Ambrose Penwose, Kiwi

You do not have to be an idiot to make a good pizza…but it helps!

First of all…Here is a perfect example of unmitigated circumstantial circumstances that will probably never be repeated in our lifetimes.

Tonight a Charles Bronson movie, entitled 10 to Midnight, will run on one of my free movie channels…FROM 10 TO MIDNIGHT!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? What are the chances of that? It’s as though the big TV brains are starting to plan.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away (most) childish things…I also quit eating grasshoppers.

That’s right folks I ate grasshoppers. We caught them in a jar and roasted them. They were crispy, tangy, and made the girls shriek... Ah, the good old days.

They say a good salesman can sell ice cubes to an Eskimo. I say, a good salesman, or a dumb Eskimo?

Here in Vegas, we were invaded by grasshoppers. They are all dead now. Their carcasses are everywhere…hundreds, thousands, millions, gazillions. All the pizza guy had to do was walk around town with a shovel and scoop them up and throw them in his ovens, for scrumptious grasshopper pizzas.

But did he do that?…NOOOO!

He bought grasshoppers from Mexico!

The invasion was not enough for him. I saw him on the 6 o’clock news saying he bought 10 bags. He was actually proud of being stupid!

I wonder where he buys his ice cubes?

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8



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Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on August 1, 2019
You're so right about that stupid pizza guy. When he had organic grasshoppers all around, he went out and bought cultivated ones from Mexico. No wonder our trade deficit is so bad! What is Vegas coming to?

When I was a kid, we didn't eat grasshoppers. They were green like lettuce, and therefore, not meat like frog legs, real meat when fried in butter… "Tastes like chicken." Besides, grasshoppers had that tobacco juice coming out of their mouths, like what dribbled out of grandpa's pipe. Disgusting.

But I think crunchy grasshopper protein is probably much better than greasy spicy salami, so the next time she goes to Cosco, I will ask her to pick up some grasshopper pizza with extra anchovies.

Ron

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