Never again.

Bigger than the average bird.
Allow me to digest this.

I never ate so much chicken in my life as I did during the last two days. I know you were waiting to hear from me but I had to wait a few hours before I could remit the details. If I was swimming I still could not go in the water.

Before dinner, I told my secretary to hold my calls as I finished off the other half of the chicken I ate the night before. Later I heard her doing nothing and looked around for her. Seeing her nowhere, I realized it was her day off. Then I realized I had no secretary. So who was holding my calls?

I realized I must have been having an adverse effect from yesterday’s chicken and wondered what I’d be like tomorrow? Would I get any calls? Would I care?

I had learned a lot from the supper previously. Nothing vegetative was necessary. The second half of that huge chicken stood on its own. It needed no broccoli. Besides there was no room on the plate.

I looked at the pieces and wondered why it even had wings? That thing could never get off the ground. And if it ever did, Heaven Help whoever happened to be under it when it landed.

I figured I’d spice it up with a little Tabasco. It took more than half the bottle, and I have the big family size.

That’s not the worst part. I was watching The Steelers on The NFL Network. Does anybody know how much that network SUCKS?
They were playing Kansas City and tied at the half.
Well, that’s all we got to see! They cut The Steelers off and switched to some stupid game in Hawaii.

I hope they did not expect me to watch a bunch of hula dancers as I sat here gorging myself with Baby Huey’s brother. I switched to Wonder Woman.

Now the chicken is gone. Somehow that does not sound good enough.
THE CHICKEN is gone. There, that’s better.

I’m thinking whoever sold that chicken to Albertson’s probably has a whole herd of them? I’ll have to watch out. Ain’t no way I’m eating another one like that!

They better watch out too. If that herd ever stampedes California will finally break off!…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8