I'll be performing soon at Krazy Karla's Wig City and Tequila Bar. Is your wardrobe drab? Is your popularity drooping? Need a lift? Remember what Karla always says, "Drink enough tequila and you won't give a rip".
Are you a balding baby-boomer? Karla has you covered. Literally. All you need is a rug and a double-shot. Good to go. Do you want the appearance of getting "back to nature"? Karla has a brand new shipment of armpit pieces. From real armpits! They're straight from Afghanistan so you know it's the good stuff. Of course, the Afghans didn't always want to give up their hair but, a tazer works wonders if you're determined.
For more, go to my site, diggerdan.sporting-a-mohawk. Double-click on the magnum bottle of Sauza Gold and win a moonlight dance with a saucy leprechaun in an alcohol-induced coma.
As a public service, we must admit that excessive drinking is a serious social problem and Karla doesn't want herself or her tequila to add to the misfortune of others. So, for informational purposes, she has compiled a list of situations so as to help the public better understand when it's time to put that bottle down. For instance:
If you wake up to find yourself lying naked in your own puke, on your pastor's front porch, it may be time to shut it down for the night.
If you make a pass at your mother-in-law.
If you've ever mistakenly kissed your dog in the butt.
If you've ever kissed your dog in the butt on purpose.
If even winos don't want to hang with you.
If you left the bar with the most beautiful girl in the world and woke up with Mark Twain.
If you discover that the girl you married in Las Vegas has an Adam's apple and the voice of a drill instructor.
For more, go to my site, diggerdan.about-face?. Click and win the chance to spend a week in jail playing "who's your daddy" with a 500-pound biker from Fresno.
www.lifeinthedweeblane.com
