Our right to privacy is in a state of rigid impact--since nothing ever gets passed. And as a result, some of you may think this story "stinks."

When it comes to the truth of what people need from government, Congress is impacted, Supreme Court needs to flush, and Capitol Hill is overdue for deworming. As a result of poor economic cleansing, American people can’t do their business without the government installing "pay toilet politics" into our lives.

It all began when politicians bit off more than they could chew. Some policies were rancid with conspiracy. Other policies were undercooked. A lot of preparation of national security was done with unwashed hands, and the people threw up in the governments face.

(I told you this story would stink).

In order to administer an economic enema with dignity, the door to personal information needs to be closed. But if the courts feel they know what is best for us without asking us, then perhaps it is long overdue for a mutual agreement to take place in order for the enema to be administered properly. If we have to "bend over" then we ought to know what's gonna be stuck up inside of our business.

The door of Congress must be relaxed enough to the point where the voting public’s ideas can be gently inserted, thus making contact in the most disgusting place imaginable--Newt Gingrich’s chair. It should have been disinfected long, long ago.

Congressional lobbyists feed too many sweets to Senate subcommittees who love political candy. Lip-smakin’ position papers are heaped upon house representatives who are already 20 pounds overweight with high-calorie paperwork that molded with age.

Put all this into the American digestive system, and whadaya get? CONSTIPATED! And politicians want to feed the same crap to us, then watch you squeeze and grunt it out in the john of tax reform. And we know that the IRS recognizes absolutely NO PRIVACY!

Essentially, when it comes to privacy rights, American is not a melting pot. It’s a colon. And Congress likes to watch you "do it." After they get cheap thrills by lying about the propaganda they cook up, the flag is unfurled and they personally hand wipe your crevice. Privacy goes straight down to the local FBI sewage treatment plant. And since the political sewage isn’t being treated properly, it goes to your political water supply. Peeeyuuu!

And you thought bottled water was good for you. Just don’t ask questions about a new roll of red, white and blue toilet paper. They turn it over, and wipe the next crevice. At least until somebody recognizes what’s really happening.

So our dilemma is "What’s a malnourished, overweight, constipated people to do to rectify the political rectum and the congressional hemorrhoids it produces?

Cut ‘em out! Reduce your intake of politician’s lies. Work your e-mail, your editorial comments, your letters and your peaceful protests every time Congress feels the urge to vote your privacy out of existence. Link hands with those who are free of lobbyists germ-ridden, self-serving snacks full of empty calories and empty promises.

Remember that the reds had their land stolen by the whites, because the whites believed a lie about the reds. Separate yourself from anything that reeks of moldy ideology if it stifles your freedom to be, and to do, and to move without constipation, and without causing undue air pollution in the process.

Constipation in any form hurts. It gives us all "da blues." And when "da country" got "da blues" then "da feds" step in as "da Big Brutha." So close your doors to your bedroom, your bathroom, your bankbook and your birthright. Better tint your windows as well.

‘Cause Big Brutha likes to watch.

(Told you this was a wild story, hope it "lighten'd your load.)

Copyright July 1998, Cynthia Lewis Reed

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