Cancer.
Not enough being done fast enough is how I felt. When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, everything changes. EVERYTHING.

I can recall feeling guilty for thinking that this should not have happened to my husband. It was hell in my soul knowing that there was this enemy that couldn't been touched or seen and at the same time, the anguish of trying to hide my feelings was one of the hardest things I had to do as a caretaker.

Kenny's prostate cancer surgery was 4/25/05. He came thru it in flying colors. The decision was between cryosurgery, radiation seeds, alternative therapies and complete removal of the prostate. I can't tell you how many hour of sleep I lost searching in overdrive, trying to research the right information.

(And if anyone wonders, there is no end to the internet)

We both knew that the surgery was also affect our sexual relationship. That was one of the hardest things. Would Kenny feel less of a man after having had this surgery? For me that was the least of my concerns.

His cancer had grown rapidly and unexpectedly. In a period of 4 years his PSA readings had gone from 4 to 24. After 6 or 7 biopsies, nothing ever showed up. And then, when it finally did, it was one of the most aggressive stages. If it was a weed it would have choked us. May as well have done so.

But I just wanted to keep my man. We could adapt to being erotically flexible to get whatever pleasure we could, even at my own risk of becoming less satisfied from what we once knew as a couple. That's why it's so important to communicate. It really does keep a marriage healthy and whole.

After the surgery, I was exhausted. I cried. I cursed under my breath. I never knew that it was so hard being a caretaker. But then I had to repent of my own selfishness. Being a Christian means 24/7 servant mode. This man was my lifelong mate who had been spared. And I had to remember my vows from 30 years ago. . . for better, for worse. . .in sickness and in health. My options were non-existent. A vow is a vow is a vow. And my love was taking me thru when I couldn't see my own face in the mirror sometimes because of tears of exhaustion.

But what's really important? Comfort and convenience, or service and sacrifice? That's is what my experience as the wife of a cancer survivor taught me. And I truly hope that the attached information is something that my husband and I can take part in and share with other survivors. This is all about sharing, caring and helping. And if we can do it while spending time with others and sharing the good word on the Pacific Seas, so be it.

Please be sure to share this message: No one was meant to  stress their bodies to the point to where illness threatens to take their life away. Promote National Health Care Insurance and Labor Reform laws that hold people in high esteem in this country. We deserve it as Americans, and our elected officials need to recognize that God given right!

love you and bless you,
cynth'ya
copyright 2006, cynth'ya lewis reed
all rights reserv'd

The attached is something that is open to anyone. It is also something that we as writers and artists can do collectively in 2007 if anyone has a desire to work with me on this. YTB has been recognized for being a major player for Carnival Cruiselines, winning recent awards and recognitions for being Carnival's Number One booking source.