Remember that song, "If the house is a rockin', don't come a knockin'?" Well unfortunately when people take off a few days for the holidays, and they do not choose to stay with family to keep a little peace--especially if an unfriendly ex-spouse is included in the gathering--quietness is a high priority.

I can recall stories where, for instance, in Cincinati Ohio (USA) before I became a referring travel agent that a radio would be blaring country music all night long. Not that I can't stand country music...but ALL NIGHT LONG?!

The staff wasn't much help either. Regardless of the multiple calls and promises to "fix" the problem, the bandwidth  played on. It was a horrible weekend! But not for my spouse; Kenny can sleep through literally anything. It's fortunate enough for the two of us that his snoring has to be controlled by a c-pap machine...a machine he forgot to pack that particular achy-breaky heart weekend.

When we finally checked out thhat Sunday around noon-ish--(and yes, I was exhausted and had to return back to my regular routine in a not so bright-eye matter of fact), there was a housekeeper right outside the room. The radio was STILL on, so the curious researcher in me (most people call it being intellectually nosy) I said to the staffwoman, "Do those people ever turn off that radio?"

She looked at me in a rather dismayed fashion--not because she couldn't speak English--but in a "you mean you didn't know?" kind of fashion.

"Oh, the people in this room checked out yesterday morning!"

"As in SATURDAY morning, when the radio was playing all night FRIDAY and all day and all night SATURDAY" was the thought going through my brain. You gotta recall that now I know that unless those patrons next door to us sneaked out the window and didn't pay...that somebody downstairs could have come up and checked on the radio, especially if no one was in the room...ALL DAY SATURDAY AND THE WEEK HOURS OF SUNDAY!

I couldn't believe that the front staff would be so insensitive. So I figured since it was pretty much water under the bridge and bags under my eyes at that juncture in my weekend, the following lessons on staying away from home would stick with me through life:

Lesson 1 of 2: Do your own research on the hotel. This is a cinch if you are in a reputable travel company (we are with YTB Travel & Cruises, rated #11 in the top 50 companies in leisure travel.) If you are not in the travel industry and don't get the advantages of living like a queen or king for pennies on the tax deductible dollar, what you should do is a simple customer request walk-through. Just let the people at the hotel you are interested in know that you're planning to be in their area, and the quality of hotel is important to you. Then ask is it possible to see one of the rooms if available?

Lesson 2 of 2: One doesn't need to be a certified authentic travel professional such as yours truly to do that. But one does need to make oneself presentable because if you look like you slept in your clothes and your appearance is on the shoddy side, then don't expect to be treated like Hilary Banks on "The Fresh Prince of BelAir." If people act like they have half a brain, and appreciate the time it take, travel agent or no, for a staff to prepare for a brief yet informative visit, then chances are good you'll be able to check out various rooms. It's all in how one postures themselves.

Look like a professional, be treated like one.
Look like a schmuck, well, you do the math....

Anyway, some of my favorite places have to do with location, location, location. Don't just stay at a place because it's "cheap." You tend to get what you pay for, and I cannot begin to even tell you about all the $26.95 truck stop hole in the walls we were forced to stay in for a night when Kenny & I were on a highway during the winter and we couldn't see past our eyeballs. Hence, we ended up at a place run by whom we believe were the cousins of the folks who lived in Dumpwater Florida where Al Bundy took his family for vacation in Season Six of the show. (Yes, I'm a Bundy fan--check the front page of my website here at the Authors Den. Anybody who sends me a holiday gift DVD collection of Married with Children of any episode series will be my bestest friend ever! ) Anyway, I digress...back to the peace and quiet tips for any hotel....and the higher the star rating does not necessarily mean it's a nice quiet place.

Here are a few tips from the people at AmericInn, located in 22 difference states. They are constructed to be as soundproof as possible. So if you are a couple who likes to get rowdy....as Prince said, "Let's Go Crazy/Let's Get Nuts". But if a couple is happens to be one of those "thin line between love and hate couples" and one of you is thinking murder....stay in a noisy hotel. One of two things can happen:
Either you'll:
a. Get arrested for disturbing the peace, or
b. Blend right in with the crowd. It's a crap shoot.

Since there are 50 states, and AmericInn has placement in only 22, you may have to give them time to get to your neighborhood but the tips are still good...Like to hear 'em? Here they go!

Tips for a quieter hotel room. . .

1. Before even checking in, request a room far away from the street, high as you can possibly get and near the back of the building.
   
   
2. If the hotel is not completely booked, ask for a room that does not have guests booked in rooms on either side of yours.
   
   
3. Before you enter the room, survey the location and noise level. And don't settle in until you are absolutely sure your room is as quiet as you need it to be. If it isn't, just head back down to the front desk and request another.
   
   
4. Make sure your room is far away from vending machines and ice dispensers, as they are a source for a lot of abrupt noises.
   
   
5. Ask for a room that is not near an elevator, where speaking levels tend to be louder.
   
   
6. Invest in a "white noise" machine, which cancels out background noise. They are available online and through many retailers that specialize in high-tech home environmental gadgets.
   
   
7. Create your own white noise by turning the room's heating/air conditioning unit fan on low.
   
   
8. Pack earplugs. Or an MP3 player loaded with soothing music or nature sounds with "in-the-ear" earphones.
   
   
9. Gaps at the bottom of hotel doors are the most common source of hotel room noise. Use the bath mat, which is dense and has a rubber backing, to block any cracks under the doors.
   
   Even though those tips came from the AmericInn link, there are over 55,000 hotels on our website and our site is powered by Travelocity at their request to YTB, not the other way around--that's a clue!-- (link below) all I gotta say is, this little writer/travel agent appreciates your consideration. But more than anything, get a good night's rest. And watch out for those cheap places where the light they leave on for you is a neon sign outside your window sill.